down in my heart

My daughter, the bookworm

2012-02-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

Isabella loves to read....I mean LOVES to read. Its her favorite thing to do, even above eating sometimes. Sometimes she just wants to sit with a pile of books and flip through them herself. Other times, she wants someone to read to her. Sometimes either activity goes on for 30 minutes. 30 MINUTES! Seriously...she loves to read.

I cherish the time that we read together. It has been part of our night time ritual since she was about 3 months old...maybe younger. Now, she will run over to her bookshelf, grab another book, and run back over to the rocking chair where we continue to read. She snuggles in and we read book after book. Isabella is much to busy to cuddle all that often so these moments with her are precious to me.

I love that she loves to read. I hope this continues throughout her life. Reading is a favorite of mine as well!

Isabella has a few favorite books. This one is pretty great, so is this one, and any of these books from this author.

Since after Christmas, however, this is her favorite book:

Something about the pages of this cookbook capture my daughter. Maybe the draw is the bright colors or the fact that there are animals on most pages. Maybe its the size of the book. She can flip to pages and they stay open. Maybe she will grow up to be a world renown chef. Who knows? But this book is the winner. I bought a few of these books for Christmas as gifts because I just love the idea: a cookbook that is creatively illustrated!

Here are a few of Isabella's favorite pages:

Obviously, the monkey page. Monkey's are one of her very favorite animals.

This one because of the fish - another favorite animal.

It just goes to show, you just never know what will end up being one of your child's favorite things. It seems that they are often things that aren't even "kid intended". I kind of love it!

a valentine's day post

2012-02-14T15:54:00.000-07:00

Somehow today just wouldn't be complete without a little post about Valentine's Day.

so...

Happy Valentine's Day!

I love today because it is a day about love.Unfortunately, the world taints it because the world's definition of love is severely skewed.

True love originates from God.....whole, unconditional, selfless love. We in ourselves are incapable of this "agape" kind of love. I truly believe that. But through His gift of the Holy Spirit, He loves through us. He enables us to "agape". How humbling! What a gift!

This verse comes to mind today:

We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19 ESV)

BECAUSE He first loved us.

Beautiful.

Such a great reminder to the origin of love and what makes today special. I feel so blessed to have so many people in my life to love. This is my second Valentine's with an extra little person to love: Miss Isabella. Or maybe it's my third. 2 years ago today (3 valentine's days ago - including this one), we shared the news of our little bun in the oven by giving the 'grandparents-to-be' little valentines from our little sesame seed.

Today, I am also reminded of this verse:

Don't you see that children are God's best gifts? the fruit of the womb his generous legacy? (Psalm 127:3 Message)

Valentine's Day looks a little different for us this year. We have celebrated so far with french toast for breakfast, macaroni and cheese for lunch, and now this evening we will venture out as a family for some grub at a sit-down restaurant. This sounds perfect to me today. There are times for a fancy, baby-free date but today we will stick together. I would tell you what I got for Valentine's Day but it is an embarrassment.....okay, okay....
Breaking Dawn [blu-ray edition]
I know, I know, for shame!

10 lbs lost!

2012-02-13T23:32:00.001-07:00

Nutrition and food are a 'thing' for me. They are my 'thing'. I love to talk about it. I love to write about it. I love to research it. I love to educate others about it. And of course, I love to eat it.

Eating can be the thing that can get you into trouble.....that happens when we overeat. As I mentioned in this post, I am an emotional eater. I didn't really realize this until my bout with postpartum depression. I lost all of my pregnancy weight within 2 weeks of having Isabella. I chalk this up to two things:

I only gained 23 lbs in the first place.
I was so busy/overwhelmed/exhausted that I often forgot to eat.

After about a few months when things remained overwhelming and exhausting, I entered a mild postpartum depression. I say 'mild' because I never thought it was serious enough to get medicated, etc. It was just a continual sadness/guilt/lost feeling. That's when I started to comfort myself with food, particularly chocolate chip cookies and many other delectable desserts. While breastfeeding was going well, the calories didn't catch up to me as quick....after it ended....it caught up...quick!

Needless to say, after Christmas, I think I was at an all time high (outside of pregnancy of course). It was time for a change. So I asked my cousin, Rachel, who had been losing weight like crazy through SlimGenics (have you seen the commercials?). She gave me a rundown of her diet and Derrik and I decided to give it a modified "go". It went well! I lost about 6 lbs. After a while on the diet, I decided to modify even more. I decided to basically do a 1,100 calories diets (about the calorie count of her diet)....eating what I want within moderation. Sugar has been cut out of my diet for the most part except for natural sugars. SlimGenics is fairly high in protein and lower in carbs and super low in fats. We decided to stick to the high protein part. I do eat a little bit more carbs and I don't skimp out on my healthy fats like whole milk, coconut oil and organic butter. Drinking 80 oz or more water a day is part of Rachel's diet and I have incorporated that as well. A simple, free app helped me to keep track - there's lots of them out there!

Here is an example of a daily menu for me.

Breakfast:

1 over-medium egg (Kirkland/Costco brand organic brown eggs): 70 calories

1 slice toast with butter (Rudi's Honey Whole Wheat and organic butter): 127 calories

1/2 apple (also organic): 36 calories

Women's Multivitamin

Some mornings, I drink a cup of coffee with a bit of whole milk, maple syrup, and a tiny bit of almond extract for flavor: 40 calories

Total: 275 give or take

Lunch:

Egg Salad: 236 calories (some days I only eat about half the amount of egg salad depending on the rest of the days menu)

2 hard-boiled eggs
1 large stalk celery, chopped
1 green onion, chopped
2 tsp. safflower mayo
2 tsp. organic stone ground mustard

1/2 (keepin' it low carb) Rudi's Organic Whole Wheat Sandwich Flats: 50 calories

1/2 apple: 36 calories

Total: 322 give or take

Dinner (varies often! most anything can be modified to fit in):

Stir Fry:

6 oz chicken breast: 165 calories

1 bell pepper (half red and half green): 30 calories

1 or 2 green onions: 10 calories

Homemade Teriyaki Sauce: 50ish? (that may be generous or about right)

1/4 cup cooked brown rice: 55 calories

Total: 310 calories

Snack:

2 Freezer Bites made with honey and scooped out in 1 tablespoon increments and rolled in unsweetened organic coconut flakes: 118 calories

Daily Total: 1025 calories

Some other calories come from oils that I cook with. Also, some days I eat another half an apple or more veggies with lunch. So overall, I probably eat closer to 1,100 calories.

So that's it, plus 80 oz of water that makes you pee. ALL. THE. TIME. But I feel so much better when I get my water. Obviously there are a bit of calories added for cooking oils and such but this is the estimate.

It took me about a month to lose 10 lbs. Today marks that day! After hitting a bit of a plateau, daily or at least every other day 30-45 minutes walks with Isabella helped.

During this time, I gave myself plenty of freedom to splurge on certain days (like the Superbowl). Everyone is different. You may lose weight faster or slower but it is all about how you feel. 10 lbs has made a huge difference for me. Ideally, I would like to lose 15 more but that probably won't happen for awhile. I'm okay with it. I'm doing what I can and what seems realistic to me for now. That's good enough for me.

I thought I would share because I was asked recently how I did it. Calorie counting is a bit tedious but it works. It allows you to not feel deprived but to eat realistically. It helps you learn portion control. Questions? Please ask away!

Abba

2012-02-11T09:46:00.000-07:00

We sing this song at my church.
I love it.
Simple.
Beautiful.
Truth.

Daddy.
Papa.
My dear Father.

"Jesus started a revolution with one word. When he said the work 'Father', he changed everything."

I think sometimes it is easy for us to forget the type of relationship we can have with God. He is our daddy. We can approach Him as such because of Christ's sacrifice. We are His adopted children and have all the 'perks' of being His blood children. He paid a dear price for us. I hope this serves as beautiful reminder to you and speaks to you as much as it has me this last week.

A Nap Time Dilemma

2012-02-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

Maybe you have seen my posts regarding Isabella's schedule. I try to post an update if anything changes. Well things have changed but there is no update to post....why? Because we cannot seem to nail down a schedule....and it is stinkin' frustrating.

For me, these past posts will hopefully serve as a future reminder when more babies come along. For others, I hope it can be a resource. But, seeing as how I cannot figure this new dilemma out, maybe some of you can help me?

So what is the dilemma?

Dropping a nap.....

Now, I remember doing this when she was littler and we dropped from 4 to 3 naps a day and then from 3 to 2. Personally, I have grown quite accustomed to having two 2 hour chunks a day to get stuff done around the house, read my Bible, and brush my teeth. I'm not quite sure how I feel about switching to just one nap a day.

A friend of mine, whom I recently emailed on the subject of dropping a nap, said this about transitions: do they ever end?

NEVER....oh motherhood

So the solution continually alludes me. Originally, I knew Isabella was ready to drop a nap because she would talk and play through one of her naps. I decided to just drop it cold turkey and started putting her down for a nap around 1. I have heard that some babies will sleep up to 3 hours for that 1 nap and I had hoped it would be true of Isabella....instead she slept for 1.5 hours, maybe 2 on a really good day. So after a week of that and a cranky baby, I did a bit more research.

Apparently some babies need a transition to just one nap. A Babywise mama (the method we resemble the most) had suggested on her website to implement a short cat nap in the morning, say 45 minutes to an hour. We did this for a week and it seemed to work great....but that was short lived. Soon she was only sleeping about 1 hour a day and was so sad and not well rested, which is one of my highest priorities for Isabella. So what do we do now......???

For some reason, this issue is one that is taking weeks to resolve. I vacillate over what is the wise thing to do and whether I have given enough time to each. As I write, I had decided to implement a rest/nap time in the morning (of about 45 minutes to an hour) where she can play on her own or sleep and then to continue with an afternoon nap. After about 45 minutes, I went in to get her....she was fast asleep....exhausted....completely passed out. She had only been quiet over the monitor for 25 minutes so I let her sleep. One hour later, I went back in to see if she was ready to wake up - no dice. If you didn't know, my baby is a light sleeper. The fact that she didn't wake up the first time I went in is astonishing. The fact that she didn't wake up the second time I went in there is a miracle! So now my whole "method" for the day is thrown off. She has now been asleep for 2 hours and it is 1 pm....its getting pretty late to try to put her down for a nap later.

She is protecting her sleep right now and I will let her. After a meltdown before bedtime yesterday due to only 1 hour of daytime sleep, I think I will let her sleep.

What's a mama to do?

At this point, I have realized that I just rambled on and on about nap time issues....these are the problems that surround my day. That's being a mama I guess!

a superbowl tradition

2012-02-05T23:24:00.001-07:00

Derrik and I have a Superbowl tradition. Well its actually more Derrik's tradition than mine.

Every Superbowl for the last 4 years, Derrik has decorated cakes for our Navigator Superbowl Party.

WHAT?! Yes that's right, I said cakes: one for each team to be precise. 4 years ago, the night before the Superbowl, Derrik decided he wanted to make cakes. I told him he was crazy and that I would have no part in it except for baking the cakes (I mean it was after dinner at this point and we didn't even have the ingredients). He said that he was cool with it and the adventure began! This was during our first year on EDGE Corps with The Navigators when I originally started this blog. How fun to have recorded Derrik's first attempt at Superbowl cakes!

Each year, Derrik gets even better. While I still bake the cakes, Derrik is the master decorator. I simply watch and document. This years cakes were a bit different since their colors were so similar. Derrik "spiced" it up, however, with a lovely silver sheen on the Patriots cake.

The New York Giants

The New England Patriots

Yummy! Fun was had by all at the party...I think maybe 50 or 60 students showed up - What a blast! Isabella is shy at first, but after warming up to all the people, she lights up. She loves to yell and scream when everyone else does and she entertains by putting bowls on her head. I love having her around our students. They love her and she loves them.

Speaking of Isabella, just 2 years ago, Derrik and I found out we were expecting this beautiful baby....yay for Super Baby Sunday!

A Snow Day Activity

2012-02-04T15:13:00.001-07:00

These days, Isabella is a bit hard to entertain. On nice days, we break out of the house for a walk. Other days we head to the grocery store. Getting out of the house helps to change up the monotony of the day. It seems like she is in a bit of an in between phase: too little for things like finger painting and play-dough and too big to be easily entertained by all of her normal toys. So what do we do on days like yesterday where it is super cold outside?

We drag out all mommy's old beanie babies...

....over a hundred of 'em.

She kept diving into them....so much fun!

They made her hair a bit static-y.

Here's to snow day activities!

Some days are crying days....

2012-01-28T22:40:00.000-07:00

Some days are just a bit more rough than others. And some days I am just a bit more emotional than others. Some days I am more emotional because the day is more rough. Whatever the case, today was one of those days.

After experiencing shooting tooth pain the night before last, I decided to go to the dentist today to have it checked out. Turns out, I most likely fractured my tooth...who knows how? They can't exactly tell because a fracture doesn't show up on the X-ray until it gets severe. But that is most likely what is going on. Now, I have a high tolerance to pain, but when it comes to tooth pain...I'm a baby. Maybe because it is caused when you eat or drink (eating being my favorite pastime). So when one of my favorite pastimes because painful, I get emotional.

So after waiting for 45 minutes for them to examine my tooth and then another 30 for them to tell me about the root canal, more bad news followed when they told me the price tag. With insurance, this root canal from some unknown cause (I take immaculate care of my teeth), is going to cost me $700. $700!!!!!! Where are we going to find the money for that? Its not like we have that laying around.

I cried all the way home.

So after a tearful, morning/afternoon, more tears were interspersed from Isabella when we would go to change her diaper. She has got a SERIOUS diaper rash. Open sores. Crying when we try to clean her up. Big, giant crocodile tears (what does that term even mean?)

So sad. What a sad day. Lots of tears.

Also, dinner with my college friends was cancelled.

So, Derrik ran out and got me lots of Qdoba: a burrito, guac, and queso.

Sometimes, I eat my feelings.

PS - This is not a picture of Isabella crying over her rash. I don't think I could take a picture of my baby in pain but this was another random fit she threw...

Worst Foods: Farmed Fish

2012-01-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

It's time for another installment of....

I know, I know...its been way too long since I continued with this blog series. So here we go!

Check out this picture....

Can you tell which filet of salmon was caught in the wild and which was raised at a fish farm?

I'll give you a hint...look at the color. Have you ever described something as "salmon-colored"? I think we have our answer. The one on the right is the wild one.

Here's another question - which one is more nutritious for you?

Answer: the wild one....by far!

Another question - which one tastes better?

Answer: another one for the wild caught fish.

Yes, today's "worst food" is:

This particular filet was purchased by me on accident...after some research I wouldn't purchase a farm-raised filet intentionally. But I thought I would use the opportunity to delve into the truth about farm-raised fish.

If you keep up with nutrition at all, you know that salmon is considered especially nutritious due to good fats called omega-3s. You may have also heard the term DHA thrown around. This is an especially desirable omega-3 fatty acid. Pregnant woman are often prescribed some prenatal vitamin that has DHA in it and told to eat cold-water fish once a week. Another fatty acid that is less commonly know is omega-6s. These are also in salmon and important for the body, however, with the modern diet, omega-6 fatty acids are consumed in too high amounts. Just store this for a moment while we discuss what is so bad about farm-raised fish (in particular, salmon).

1) Salmon are carnivores: obviously this means they eat meat (and some "veggies" so mostly carnivore and a tiny bit omnivore). Wild salmon feed on little tiny shrimp, other little fish, algae, and seaweed. Yummy! This translates into tasty, healthy, salmon. What are their farmed friends fed? Well, its less than appetizing: fish meal, fish oil, even poultry by-products AND, because this is not sustainable (seeing as how it takes 3 lbs of fish meal/fish oil to produce 1 lb of salmon), they also feed these salmon (who are carnivores) grain, soy (both which can be genetically modified and are often laced with pesticides), even plastic. Yikes! It is true, you are what you eat - this is true for salmon as well. Because of their horrendous diet, their meat is much higher is the omega-6s - not what you want. They are also lower in vitamins A and D. And, of course, they don't taste as good.

2) Salmon are pink: okay, we have touched on this a little bit. But, the scandal of farmed fish thickens. To make farmed fish appear more "salmon colored", they feed these fish 2 red dyes: canthaxanthin and astaxanthin. These dyes naturally occur in different crustations (some of which wild salmon feed on, hence giving them the rich "salmon" color). The dyes that are fed to the farmed salmon are definitely not natural, in fact, it is big business to develop the best dye. The problem is that the FDA doesn't require them to label it. So don't be fooled! Artificially colored food = no good! When buying salmon, always make sure it is WILD CAUGHT and then buy the pinkest one you can find!

The bottom line is that salmon raised in captivity, unable to eat their normal/natural diet and exercise, develop a different, nutritional make-up than wild salmon. This is really true of all animals - the beef, chicken, eggs, and pork that we eat. Grass-fed, free range is the way to go! Obviously, with higher quality comes a higher price tag, so look for sales!

Ironically, while farm-raised fish are one of the "worst foods", wild-caught salmon are one of the "best foods".

So there ya go, installment #2 of "worst foods". I truly hope this was helpful. If you have any questions, comments, etc feel free to ask!

P.S. While taking these photos (with my back turned for 2 seconds), this is what my daughter did to entertain herself.

Love her!

Again, the Weston A. Price Foundation and Nourishing Traditions are my "go to" when it comes to nutritional findings.

Lessons from Madame Blueberry

2012-01-22T22:38:00.000-07:00

I love how the Lord speaks to us in so many different ways. This morning, since Derrik was out of town, Isabella and I stayed home from church. I thought it would be fun for her and I to watch a VeggieTales together for our Sabbath. So I started Madame Blueberry (the first VeggieTales I ever remember).

Have you seen it? Its all about being content and having a happy heart. Wouldn't you know that lovely little show about talking vegetables had me crying. As Madame Blueberry realizes that she doesn't want/need stuff to be happy, the tears started. How is it that it is so easy for us to get the "I'll be happy when...". Is it our culture, or is this the way it is everywhere? Obviously, Paul knew about this. That's why he said:

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Philippians 4:12

What a beautiful reminder this Sunday morning! Are you in that place right now, the "I'll be happy when..." place? Its easy to get into. Lets hold each other accountable to having a happy heart and thanking God for what we do have!

Renovation

2012-01-22T01:14:00.000-07:00

As per my new year "goals" this blog is in the process of a major overhaul. I have spent most of the week, playing with different things, designing a new banner and renovating the looks around here. So far, so good, don't you think? It is still a work in progress so bare with me a bit longer!

In the know...

2012-01-19T22:44:00.003-07:00

Did you know that we send out a newsletter a few times a year? We do so to keep our family and friends in the know about what is going on in our ministry as well as our personal lives. I thought it would be a great idea to share it on here as well. So here you go...this is our Winter 2011 newsletter!

(Click on the picture to be taken to the document)

If you would like to join our mailing list, shoot me an email!
Enjoy!

I imagine this happens to most parents at one point or another...

2012-01-15T09:59:00.002-07:00

Just before we left to travel for Christmas, we woke up to find our baby...diaper off...poop everywhere...in her crib. Gross and so sad for Isabella. She was immediately placed in a bath and all her bedding thrown in the washer. This video was taken of Isabella's denial while in the bath...

I'm pretty sure this happens to all parents at one point or another....you never know, you could be next!

2-0-1-2

2012-01-09T15:39:00.000-07:00

A new year is upon us! How exciting is this! I am loving reading several people's blogs reflecting on last year and planning for the present year. SO, I thought I'd write one of my own.

What is it about a new year that makes us try harder...make resolutions, new goals, start over, etc etc etc. Truly, New Years Day isn't much different than any other day. New Years Day, however, brings hope....a new hope for so many people.

While I do love a new year and I also love setting new goals and pushing myself, let us not forget where our hope lies. Its not with a new year...its with Jesus. He is our hope! ...

"and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

(Romans 5:5)

This hope doesn't fade as the year goes on, it doesn't fade when we our goals/resolutions don't pan out, it doesn't fade when things don't go our way, and it doesn't fade based on circumstance. THIS hope is unfailing, unfading, never changing, ever present TO THE END....year after year, decade after decade, century after century. Amen.

So this New Year, I choose to be hopeful...always.

THIS is a great post by my friend Tasha about the New Year and Resolutions. I totally dig it and I totally agree. Similarly, the resolve I have this year is to work on self-control - in my eating, in my time management, and in my emotions.

I do have some goals (short term and long term) that pertain to this resolve and in general as well. Documentation is important for keeping goals and remaining accountable to self and others....so here goes:

GOALS OF 2012

Go to bed at a decent time
Wake up to have time with the Lord in the morning
No more sugar (except special occasions)
Curb my eating habits
Eat healthier/Drink more water
Exercise
Budget better
Save More
Pay off LOTS of student loans
Get healing prayer
Make new friends
Be better about blogging (update blog design too)
Work on Isabella's baby book
Learn how to take better pictures
Learn how to edit pictures
Learn to sew
Keep a neater home
Take date nights with Derrik
Expand our family

Lots of fun stuff on there, eh? I may not even come close to perfecting all these (or even doing all of them). Regardless, I would like to try. And with the power of the Holy Spirit, I believe He will lead me become the person the Lord wants me to be at the end of 2012, whether that include a cleaner, craftier, more timely person or not. I hope to change this year....only to look more like Christ in 2013.

2011: In review

2012-01-02T22:14:00.000-07:00

2011...I have no real idea where to begin.

What a year, don't you think?

For me it was filled with LOTS and LOTS of tears accompanied by LOTS and LOTS of laughter.

I really have trouble reflecting...why? Because self-inspection can be an ugly thing. Sometimes we don't want to face what we were or who we are.

This year was probably the most trying of my life (close behind would be the first year of marriage!). After some ugly self-inspection, it became clear to me that I was suffering from a slight case of postpartum depression. Nothing too serious, but it was a weariness/sadness I just couldn't get over. Much of this was due to the unending trouble we had nursing, accompanied by Isabella's weight loss. All that was documented in this post and the one subsequent, oh and this one.

This was the first good chunk of my year. Of course it was also FULL of so much joy watching Isabella grow. Wow, I feel like she has been a part of our lives for much, much longer than just 15 months. She is amazing. Many other things accompanied parenting this year...things I believe were spurred by being a mother. I became much more interested in natural childbirth after reflecting on a not so great delivery. (See these posts: I, II, III). Discoveries on nutrition, sparked by feeding Isabella food for the first time, has completely changed my outlook on foods. I cannot believe the difference. Crafting became a new hobby, one of which I am just scratching the surface in. I love being crafty and cannot wait for more homemade decor/gifts this upcoming year. Finally, photography. A newfound love of capturing my little love in all of her extreme cuteness has grown over the year. All this is sure to take off with my new camera!

If I could use one word to describe this year, it would be family. We grew so much as a family of 3. Not only did I grow as a mother and Derrik as a father, but we grew in our marriage. A whole new aspect of Derrik was revealed when he became a father and that gave me so much more to love. I know he feels the same way about me too. We also spent lots of time with our families, Isabella's grandparents and aunts and uncles. How blessed we are to live near all of them. Not only do we have our immediate family nearby, I also am blessed to have my cousins Rachel and Mikey close by with little man Wyatt as well. Isabella and Wyatt at just 5 months apart are super buddies which makes me so happy!

So that's my short(ish) but sweet "year in review" post. What a year! Bring on what's next!!

A White Christmas

2011-12-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

The holidays are just such a blur after the fact, aren't they?

It seems like just yesterday, we were stuffing our faces at Thanksgiving. Next thing you know, its Christmas. A white Christmas in fact, with the ground covered in snow!

WOW....Christmas 2011 has come and gone. I have decided that upon returning home we will leave up our Christmas decorations for 2 reasons: 1) I want to enjoy it just a bit longer and 2) It's a lot of work to take down.

Our Christmas celebrations consisted of 4 days of fun!

Coleman and Jeremiah making treats!

Day 1 (the day before Christmas Eve): We headed over to my aunt/uncle's house for a holiday treat making extravaganza! My grandma and aunt were in town from Kansas and this was just the sort of thing families should get together to do. We whipped up several batches of cookies, a not so secret vice of mine...yummy.

Christmas Eve

Day 2 (Christmas Eve): We headed over to Derrik's aunt and uncle's house for a festive celebration that included Mexican food and a super fun White Elephant. I walked away with a roasting pan and Derrik with a Maglite - these gifts totally match us and our interests, how perfect! Next we headed off to Derrik's parents' church - Harvest in Aurora. I love this church and the people there! We love love love visiting. Next it was back to my parents house to await the arrival of Santa.

Andrina and Isabella in their matching jammies

Storytime

Wyatt-man

Denny and Riley

Day 3 (Christmas Day): We had a full house! Our little family of 3, my little brother, my parents, my sister, her husband, and 2 kids. Shortly after we all woke up, my brother, his fiancee, and baby Riley showed up. We celebrated as an immediate family first, opening presents and eating brunch. A little while later, we ventured to my aunt and uncle's house for the Christmas Day celebration. This included lots of people of which I will list now: Uncle Bob, Aunt Chris, Kenna, Grandma Joan, Rachel, Mikey, Wyatt, Travis, Grandma Ella, Aunt Colleen, Mom, Dad, Aubrey, Arthur, Andrina, Cody, Denny, Becky, Riley, Jeremiah, Derrik, Isabella, and myself....whew! Of all of these wonderful people, 4 of them are babies (Isabella, Wyatt, Riley, and Andrina). This totally changes family get togethers...they are way fun - especially now that they are all at the age where they can play together. We celebrated with some Christmas Lasagnas and a gift exchange....lots of cookies were also had by all.

Isabella and Grandpa

Day 4: The Day after Christmas, we traveled over to Isabella's grandma and grandpa's house (Derrik's parents) for a belated family Christmas celebration. Derrik's grandparents also dropped by. It was fun to celebrate with them and watch Miss Isabella enjoy all of her new presents. More lasagna was had, Wii was played, and laughing over silly things baby girl did was in abundance.

Playing in her "Trunki"

We are so so so blessed to be surrounded by amazing family on all sides! Isabella and our other children will grow up with lots of family interaction for which I am grateful. I truly hope your Christmas was more than merry and I pray your New Year was also something to remember.

Kentucky!

2011-12-29T12:43:00.000-07:00

Wow...the end of this year has completely flew by! It has been one busy whirlwind. It seems like from the end of October onward, the year just progressively gets busy. Needless to say, I am quite looking forward to January when things will slow a bit and I will have time for things like blogging.

Roughhousing on the Hotel Bed

As mentioned in a post awhile ago, I meant to catch up on many of the happenings these past two months. Maybe one day I will get the hang of blogging the day that something happens or even the day after, but for now here comes a post on our recent trip to Louisville, KY for our National Collegiate Conference!

Baby Einstein = Road trip lifesaver!

Back in the beginning of November, we road tripped our way out to Louisville, KY. Our trip there became quite the adventure. We decided to leave at about 11:00 pm and travel to Topeka, KS to visit my Grandma and Grandpa for the day. Upon our arrival (around 7 am on a Sunday), we found out our rental car had died...broken down, in my Grandma's driveway...right behind my Grandma's car thus leaving all of us stranded. Derrik was on/off the phone with the rental company for a few hours trying to coordinate a replacement. Finally (around 1 pm) they arrived with the replacement....a tiny, itty bitty, economy sized car - the Chevy Aveo. This was a major problem, especially since Derrik communicated very clearly that anything smaller than a full-size would not hold all of our stuff. So once again, Derrik was on the phone.

After lots of conversation, we were presented with a 2 options: 1) wait until 7:30 am the next morning to get a replacement at the local rental location. 2) drive 1.5 hrs to Kansas City Airport (open on Sundays) to get a replacement. Seeing as how option #1 would make us late to our conference, we opted for #2 but decided to wait until the next morning to pick the car up at 6 am when the Kansas City Airport rental place opened. That put us leaving Topeka at 4:30 am, just 4 hours behind schedule. This would also mean miraculously shoving everything into a too small space....seriously, it was a miracle it all fit! Sunday, although somewhat of a bummer, was actually great. After they towed away the broken car, we went to visit my grandpa and went to dinner with my grandma. Truly great to see them.

Is it even safe to drive like this?

Filled to the brim with our stuff

No Room!

Other than this crazy start to the trip, getting the rest of the way to KY was a breeze. Besides, whats better - a good trip or a memorable one? (Can both be an option??)

The DeWitts, The Trebeshes, & The Kozloskis

The conference was spectacular. We gathered with 1,400 other Navigator staff, some in collegiate, some in prison ministry, some from headquarters, some international, some metro ministry, etc etc. etc. We attended worship sessions, workshops, seminars, dinners, etc. To be together with 1,400 other staff with the same heart was beyond encouraging. That being said, conferences are much different with a little baby in tow. Isabella did great! We tried to stick to her schedule as much as possible which meant 2 naps a day and early bedtime. This, in correlation, meant lots of time spent by Mama in the hall. Thank the Lord that our dear friends were rooming on either side of us: the Trebeshes and the Kozloskis. These families are also both made up of a daddy, a mommy, and a little baby girl. How exciting to have such great friends with little baby girls just 6 months or so younger than Isabella. We loved letting them play together and loved hanging out as moms together. In fact, the daddies hung out in the hallway one night while we went out for dessert. Without these women, the trip would have been very lonely for me. I am so grateful to have such amazing friends like these. Now if they only lived closer!

Leigh Ann, Jamie, Nicki, Hayley, Isabella, Emaline!

After being in KY for a week, we were ready to return. However, saying goodbye was bittersweet. I miss these dear friends of mine. They are close, soul friends whom I wish lived next door. I love you ladies, and your families, and your babies!

After our dessert night out...do you read the exhaustion in the eyes?

Angry Birds!

2011-12-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

There's no better way to prepare for Halloween than getting together with family, eating green chili, decorating Halloween cookies, and carving pumpkins!

This year was our second annual pumpkin carving party. This year is quite different with 3 babies or toddlers rather! Last year, Isabella was just one month old. One year later and we have a bunch of busy giggle boxes!

I feel like this event is best portrayed in pictures.

All the Bebes

The following is what happened when "Papa" (my dad) told Isabella to smile

Carving Away!

Angry Birds! (mine is the pig and Derrik's is the bird)

On Halloween: our little Baby Bovine!

All or Nothing

2011-12-02T07:00:00.000-07:00

UCCS Nav Students!

Journey! This is the name of our annual fall student conference. All the Navigator campus ministries from Wyoming down to New Mexico gather at the YMCA in Estes Park, CO for a weekend full of great worship, heart-tugging messages and life-changing workshops. Not to mention lots of fun with friends! 600 + students attended this year...amazing!

Drew!

This year our theme was "All or Nothing". Drew Frazer, our speaker (and a good friend of me and Derrik's), gave truly inspiring messages about who God is, who we are in Christ, and what we do with this knowledge. Seriously great content!

One of my true passions in ministry is speaking to women about purity and relationships. In years past, I have had the opportunity to lead a workshop for woman on just this topic. Last year I wasn't able to attend, let alone lead a workshop, due to obvious reasons...Isabella being only 3 weeks old kept me home. This year, the opportunity presented itself again! I was able to lead 2 workshops for about 75 college woman! What a beautiful/humbling thing it is to speak on such a difficult issue. So many women that I spoke with are in need of renewal and to feel free from guilt and shame and this weekend provided just the atmosphere and tools to break free from condemnation. God is so good and I love watching Him change lives and I also love that He allows us to be a part of the process.

My parents joined us for the weekend (they watched Isabella so that I could do my workshop and be around students). It was so great having them there. It was also so fun having Izzy there too! She had lots of fun and I love when students get to see our whole family together. She also went in a playground swing for the first time too and loved it!

Such a great weekend!

2 and 1/2 decades

2011-12-01T20:44:00.001-07:00

Today is the day I turn 25! Yes, the big 2-5. I am now halfway through my twenties....weird.

So there are only 2 cool things about the age 25. I can now rent a car (with no underage driver fees) and now (supposedly) my prefrontal cortex is fully formed so I will no longer make bad decisions....

I wish. If there's one thing I have learned in the last 25 years of life, its that I don't know much. Seriously, each year I realize how little I know. But I am okay with that because I have a lifetime of learning ahead of me! I will say this, this year has brought a whole new level of wisdom. Becoming a mom has changed a lot of things and one of them is the way I think. My hunger for wisdom and knowledge has reached a new level. But its a different kind of wisdom/knowledge, because it is no longer just for self and ministry. It's for my family, it's for my baby. I cannot wait for the years to come. I have a feeling they will only become more fulfilling and joyful!

Here's a picture (or a few) of what my birthday looked like!

First we went to breakfast at the Egg and I

They were out of high chairs so Isabella had to sit in a booster. It went over pretty well.

Then, I tried out my fancy new camera...I am such an amateur!

(Derrik and Isabella will be my perpetual models)

Derrik's model pose - he is smokin'!

Next Isabella got her first haircut (well a trim anyway)

And I got a cut/color too! Thanks Kristin! This totally made my birthday!

(more pictures of the new haircut to come soon!)

Then the Christmas decorating began

Yay for birthdays!

It's just that time of year

2011-11-29T10:18:00.001-07:00

Yes indeed! This time of year (October-December) can be summarized by one word for me right now:

BUSY!

A good kind of busy, but busy none the less.

I cannot believe it has been over a month since my last post. Here are just a few of the things that have happened since my last post.

Journey 2011 - our regional student fall conference
A family get together to carve pumpkin and eat green chili
Our Navigator National Conference in Louisville, KY lasting a full week
Thanksgiving and an extended visit with family.

I had planned on filling you in about these joyous events along the way but I don't feel like I've had a moment.

I will be back tomorrow with a new post to fill you in about our crazy, busy life!

Clutching Dead Leaves

2011-10-27T17:22:00.001-06:00

It has been 2 years since I wrote this. This is documentation of a vision I feel the Lord gave me. Today, I came across it. Reading it still brings tears to my eyes. I love how the Lord works. His transforming work is real in my life. The transition into motherhood is probably the greatest and most difficult transition I will ever go through in my life. I am so grateful for the Lord's perfect timing.

Clutching Dead Leaves

Written Fall 2009

I pray some mornings on my way to meetings and appointments. It was mid-October, it was early, and there had been an intense frost the night before. I was on my way to our first women's breakfast. This particular morning, I found myself praying and before I knew it my prayer became an angry rant. I was ranting about the weather; the cold, freezing weather. I found myself reasoning with God over why He would allow the frost to come so suddenly. I had just adapted to it being autumn, I love seasons. I love the way each season takes it course and how each season has different characteristics: different weather, different scenery, different activities. I love all of it...even cold weather. But a frost in October somehow sent me over the edge. I wanted the full experience of fall. Now, it was sure to be cut short.

So there I was ranting to God over the bitterness in my heart toward the weather, which now seems rather silly, and I heard God whisper to my soul. He gently told me about the beauty of seasons: how the spring brings beautiful, new life after the winter; how the summer continues to blossom and fruit appears; how fall is a season of change where life completes its cycle and prepares for winter, which is sure to be cold and dead but somehow has a beauty of its own. He told me that for spring to come there must be a winter. For new growth to appear, it must go through a season of death...

Tears welled in my eyes as He gently told me all this. In my mind, He took me through all the seasons of the tree. I love trees. I love their symbolism in the Bible. I love the way they change, grow, and produce. He showed me the trees in the spring, green with new leaves and buds waiting to bloom. He showed me trees in the summer: blossoming, green, fruitful. He showed me trees in the fall, rich with their red, yellow, and brown leaves. He showed me the trees in winter: bear, frozen, and dormant.

My plea continued as I shared with God my desire to see the leaves fall from the trees in their own time, not because of an untimely frost. God told me that sometimes trees need help letting go of their leaves. God then asked me what the dead leaves in my life were...The tears spilled over at this point. I was weeping because there were so many 'dead leaves' I was gripping with a tight fist. I began confessing my sin and handing over my burden to the Lord. I was struggling in so many domains of my life. I was struggling with personal pride and the way it was affecting my relationships. I was working vigorously, homemaking on a budget. I was weary with worrying and agonizing over the future. I was tired...very tired. I was in disarray with a convoluted schedule. I was wavering in faith concerning God's promise to provide for us.

But the biggest area I was vexed in was motherhood...I was wrestling with my deep desire to be a mother and if God would be pleased with me if I wasn't doing full-time vocational ministry. I had contrasting desires. I wanted to be with students all the time but my heart was crying out for a deep longing to be fulfilled. God showed me that my desire is and always has been to be a mother. He revealed that holding onto the full-time ministry I was doing in the capacity I was doing it in was like dead leaves compared to the full-time ministry of parenting. He showed me that I was squeezing tightly to something beautiful...but not meant to last forever...only a season.

Freedom enveloped me as I wept. I was free to allow my heart to open and my dreams and desires to flow out. Yet at the same time, a great sadness filled my heart as I thought of the idea of not being able to do the job I loved in this capacity. The Lord is so gentle. He revealed to me that there must be a winter before the spring. The winter may be long, cold, lifeless, but there is great beauty in it. It is the end of a cycle, the end of seasons. When it is over, new and wonderful life appears. I believe that He is moving through the season of winter right now. I anticipate the spring but I am taking great joy in going through the winter. Although there is great sorrow in losing a cycle of seasons that were wonderful and unique, there is great expectancy for what the next cycle holds...but first, you must release the dead leaves.

How incredible that just a few months later, we would find out we were expecting. And now 2 years later, I have a 1 year old. Just yesterday, we had our first snow of the season. Seasons are changing again and it makes me remember how beautiful transition can be but also how difficult it is. I would never trade what I have now. Thank you Jesus for the gift of motherhood.

Healthy Homemade "Teddy Grahams" (and Cheesy Bears too)!

2011-10-25T07:00:00.000-06:00

Finding easy, healthy snacks for little people is difficult. Other than fruits and veggies, finding easy snacks that aren't completely processed and full of sugar is either impossible or expensive. They are out there. There are some organic snacks that have minimal ingredients that are all recognizable but these are the ones that cost a pretty penny (as far as snacks are concerned anyway). SOO....I set out to make my own healthy cracker snacks. I haven't perfected the art of creating my own recipes but I am pretty darn good at adapting them...

Healthy Teddy Grahams

adapted from this recipe

Ingredients

makes roughly 200 crackers (if using tiny cookie cutter)

1 cup + 2 tablespoons Whole Wheat Flour
1/4 cup sucanat
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
2 Tablespoon honey (only for babies 1 year or older - may substitute pure maple syrup or eliminate completely for younger ones)
1/8 cup or 2 Tablespoons cold water
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cups or 4 Tablespoon butter (I use organic cultured butter), cold and cubed

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350° F.

2. In a food processor, pulse together flour, sucanat, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.

3. Next pulse in butter until mixed together and crumby (hehe).

4. Add honey, vanilla, and a tablespoon of water. Pulse to combine.

5. Pulse in other tablespoon of water.

finished dough

6. Chill dough for a little while (15-30 minutes)

7. Roll dough out fairly thin (depending on how thick/thin you want your crackers).

8. Cut out your shapes. I picked up this cute little cookie cutter at Hobby Lobby in the clay crafts section for $1.67. It came with 3 different size bears. They had some other shapes too but bears are perfect!

9. Place the teddies on a parchment lined cookie sheet. They can be pretty close together.

10. Bake for 8-10 minutes. 9 seemed about perfect - they burn really quickly. Since ovens vary, start at 8 and take out when edges are just golden.

11. Let cool for 5-10 minutes.

12. Store in an airtight container. Dig in and enjoy! These things are soooo tasty!

Another variation on this recipe...

Homemade Cheesy Bears

adapted from this recipe

Ingredients

8 oz shredded cheddar cheese
4 Tablespoons butter, cold and cubed
1 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 Tablespoons cold water

Instructions

Pulse everything but water in a food processor until the mixture is well mixed and crumby.
Pulse water in 1 Tablespoon at a time.
Chill dough for a little while (15-30 minutes).
Roll dough out fairly thin.
Place on a parchment lined cookie sheet, fairly close together.
Bake for 15 minutes at 350° F.

Makes way more than 7 dozen!

Hope you enjoy these recipes and happy cracker making!

Worst Foods: Margarine

2011-10-14T10:10:00.000-06:00

This is the first installment of my new blog series. I am super excited this and hope many of you will benefit.

Today's "worst foods" feature is:

Myth: To avoid heart disease, we shoulduse margarine instead of butter.

Truth: Margarine eaters have twice the rateof heart disease as butter eaters.

Strange isn't it?Margarine is supposed to be the healthy alternative right? That's why is wascreated, no?

Let's start withthe basics. What is margarine? Margarine is a butter substitute. Its origindates as far back as the 1800's but its health claims as being "betterthan butter" started in the 1950's. The thought was that all the"bad" components of butter could be taken out and anyneeded wanted nutrient could be added. Not to mention, it's a lot cheaper thanbutter to produce.

Now I am not aconspiracy theory kind of person. But I do know that our country is in aserious health crisis. Cardiovascular disease is killing so many of ourcitizens. Obesity in adults and children alike is increasing dramatically.There are several reasons and explanations for this increase but itis partly due to false health claims about the food we are told to eat. Weunderestimate the affect marketing has on what we eat. The research behind the healthclaims of margarine and other butter substitutes does not add up. Truth betold, it is cheaper to produce and is therefore marketed above butter. LikeI said, I am not into conspiracies but I know this country functions on moneyand food is big business.The cheaper/easier it is to produce in this country,the better. The more research I do, the more convinced I become that this istrue. (Check out the documentary FoodInc. for some great info...ignorance is not bliss when it comes towhat we feed ourselves and our families!)

In general, it isnever a healthy decision to eat something that is synthetic and man made. Itsjust a good rule of thumb not to eat something that isn't found in nature.Butter is made by churning cream that comes from a cow AKA natural. So how is margarinemade, you ask? Its not pretty....

The processinvolves taking oils that are naturally liquid at room temperature and makingthem solid. So how do you make something that is naturally liquid and make itsolid? Hydrogenation. This is the gross part...

"...manufacturersbegin with the cheapest oils - soy, corn, cottonseed, or canola, already rancidfrom the extraction process - and mix them with tiny metal particles - usuallynickel oxide. The oil with its nickel catalyst is then subjected to hydrogengas in a high-pressure, high-temperature reactor. Next, soap-like emulsifiersand starch are squeezed into the mixture to give it a better consistency; theoil is yet again subjected to high temperatures when it is steam-cleaned. Thisremoves its unpleasant order. Margarine's natural color, an unappetizing grey, is removedby bleach. Dyes and strong flavors must then be added to make it resemblebutter. Finally, the mixture is compressed and packaged in blocks or tubs andsold as health food." (p. 14 Nourishing Traditions,Sally Fallon)

Grey!?! Are youkidding me?

This process of hydrogenation is what changes the molecular shape of the fat from "cis" formation to "trans" which is where we get the term "trans" fat. Trans fats are not found in nature.

Need moreconvincing?

Another exertfrom Nourishing Traditions tells this tale. The premise isthat a man did a little experiment after hearing that hydrogenated fat moleculeslook very similar to plastic molecules under a microscope. He set out a saucerwith a cube of margarine on it an placed in the windowsill of the back room ofhis store. He reasoned that if it was indeed "food", many insects andmicroorganisims would help themselves to the cube and feed off of it (like theywould with butter). It sat for 2 years...untouched. No insects went near it andno mold grew on it.

A few finalthoughts.....

Do not be fooledby the "no trans fat" claims on margarine, etc. If it sayshydrogenated or partially hydrogenated, it has trans fats. If it hasmono/di-glycerides in it, it has trans fat. Did you know that labeling lawsallow the label to read 0grams trans fat per serving if the product contains less than .5 gramstrans fat per serving containing 11 grams of fat? SO that means these "0grams trans fat" per serving foods can contain 5% trans fats...

Butter is better!Unfortunately, it has received an unnecessary bad rep for being the cause ofhigh cholesterol and heart disease. This is simply not true. I will say that the most healthy butter you can buy isn't going to be cheap. "Organic cultured"butter or "pasture-fed" butter is a bit pricey but in my opinion itis worth it. If you don't feel this is an option, than read your labels. Stayaway from butter that has added color.

Butter can actually protect against heart disease and cancer...its true. Saturated or "animal" fat has gotten a bad name in this country but the truth is countries that live on lots of animal fat products, like France for instance (and various primitive cultures), have lows rates of heart disease and obesity. It is only when man-made products like margarine are introduced to these cultures that their health declines.

Someone asked meif there is a "light" butter option and the answer is no. Sincebutter is made from cream there is no light option since the cream is the milkfat. Fat is fat and it runs at 9 calories per gram. REGARDLESS, eating thebutter is WAY healthier than any "light" margarine.

We have thechoice about which fats we will eat and which ones we will feed our families.Don't send free radicals and destructive "plasticey" trans fats intoyour system. And certainly don't send it into the tiny systems of yourchildren. Protect yourself against heart disease and cancer! Butter is natural!No matter how "advanced" our food technology will get, time has toldthat nothing measures up to what is found in nature. Get the facts about whybutter is better.

For your ownfurther research on margarine and butter, check out these trusted sources.

InResponse to Margarine Manufacturers

WhyButter is Better

The Weston A. Price Foundation is a trusted resource for ALL yourfood/nutrition related questions. NourishingTraditions is a greatresource as well.

I Heart "The Pioneer Woman"

2011-10-13T16:27:00.000-06:00

Seriously, have you checked out this blog. I love everything about his blog. The food. The entertainment section. The awesome giveaways. The witty writing. All of it!

I thought I would share a particular recipe of hers that is a favorite of mine and Derrik's. Due to our recent diet changes, I made a few adjustments that I will share.

Beef with Peppers
*adapted from The Pioneer Woman's Beef with Peppers
Servings: 8 (lots of leftovers!)

Ingredients

1.5 pound steak (I've used top round or flank)
1/2 cup Tamari Low Sodium Soy Sauce (I use this one)
3 Tablespoons Sherry
2 Tablespoons Sucanat
2 Tablespoons Arrowroot Powder
1 Tablespoon fresh minced Ginger
2 cloves minced Garlic
1 teaspoon red chile oil
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 whole Medium Yellow Onion, sliced
2 whole Red Bell Peppers, cored and sliced into Rings
1 Package Brown Rice Pad Thai Noodles - like these (I found mine at Vitamin Cottage but they are probably at Sunflower, Whole Foods, and possibly King Soopers - make sure they are the brown rice ones because they are so much more nutritious. This could also be served over brown rice but the noodles are just so yummy!)
Red Pepper Flakes, for sprinkling

Instructions

Slice steak into extremely thin strips, against the grain. This is what makes it so good and can be a little time consuming unless you have some serious knife skills. Don't be tempted to make thicker strips. It is worth it in the end.
Mix together soy sauce, sherry, sucanat, arrowroot, ginger, garlic, and chili oil. Place thin strips of beef in the mixture and toss to coat. Set aside.
Heat 1 Tablespoon oil in a large skillet over medium high to high heat. When it is very hot, throw in the onions and cook for less than a minute. Remove to a separate plate. Return skillet to flame, allow to reheat, and add bell peppers. Cook for a minute, tossing, until peppers have brown/black bits but are still firm. Remove to a plate.
Return skillet to heat and allow to get hot. Add the remaining tablespoon of oil to the skillet. Add 1/3 of the meat mixture, evenly distributing over the surface of the skillet. Allow to sit for 20 to 30 seconds, then turn with tongs. Cook for another 30 seconds, then remove to a separate plate. Repeat with remaining meat until all brown (I cook my meat all the way through because I like mine well done).
Reduce heat to low. Add all meat, onions, and peppers to the skillet and toss to combine. Pour in remaining sauce (the sauce the meat marinated in*) and stir. Allow to simmer on low for a few minutes. Sauce will slowly thicken. Turn off heat. * Note: you can also whip up an extra batch of liquid if you do not want to use the same liquid you use for the meat.
Turn off boiling water, then throw in noodles. Stir, then allow noodles to sit in hot water for 8 minutes or so (check package directions to be sure.) Drain, then add 1/2 the noodles to stir fry. Toss together, then add more noodles to taste (I add all the noodle because I love ‘em). Add very hot water if needed to thin.
Sprinkle with red pepper flakes or additional red pepper oil to increase the heat.

Oh my yum! Hope you enjoy this yummy dinner as much as we do! If you use gluten-free soy sauce, this meal becomes gluten-free too!

Isabella Ann: 11 and 12 months - oh my!

2011-10-11T22:44:00.000-06:00

Is it October already, sweet Isabella?

Wow, I can hardly believe it! Are you really 1 year old? Has my tiny baby already grown up so swiftly?

Its true, you are a big 1 year old now. The last 2 months leading up to that special day have flown by. They have brought new things, some of the same things, and lots of memories of old things.

So what about new things?

TEETH! August was a month FULL of teething. All. Month. Long. It was fairly frustrating for you and for me. You just seemed a little off all month. But all of that teething work paid off. First your top right tooth poked through and then the top left and the left incisor and then the right incisor...4 teeth! You look so sweet with all those little teeth in your mouth. It also makes you look more grown up, which I still have mixed feelings about.
You are growing! At your Dr's appointment this morning, you weighed in at 18 lbs 7 oz and measured in at 28 inches. Just 12 short months ago you entered the world at 7lbs 6.5 oz and 18 inches long. What a year of growth it has been. But that's what you are good at - growing, learning, being cute, making your parents laugh, etc etc.
Because you are growing, we have had to get you some new clothes. Thankfully, you received some clothes as gifts at your party! You are fitting right into 12 month right now. We also had to get you some little tennis shoes. The weather is changing and your cute little sandals just don't cut it any more. Not to mention, your little feet have almost grown out of those size 2 shoes. Its on to size 3 now!
Cruising. You are just cruisin' along on your little push toys. You love "walking" with their help. We love the proud look you wear on your face as you "walk" across the floor. Someday soon, we hope to see some real steps but you still seem pretty content to just crawl and cruise. We can't until you "toddle"!
Dancing. You know how to get down...well its more of a shake your head back and forth and bounce type of thing but it is so cute and you will do it on command. We love it!
Tantrums....I wouldn't have believed they could start so young if I hadn't witness it! You wring your little hands and then you often fall on your side and throw your head against the floor. We have to hide a smile and stifle a giggle. We are still doing the "consequence stick" which is going well. Usually, you obey rather quickly but sometimes you feel the need to exert your little will. We are patient with you as we teach you that you have choices to make and we pray that you will choose what's right. We love you so much!

Some of the same things?

You are still in size 3 diapers and have been for awhile. We are also still doing cloth and we just love seeing you in those sweet little diaps that make you look like you have a bubble butt.
You still love feeding yourself and almost do so exclusively now. Sometimes, you shovel it in so quickly its hard to keep up. You're favorite food right now is buttered toast. You just love it! Mommy and Daddy have to hide theirs in the morning or else you won't eat any of your nutritious breakfast oatmeal.
You are still sleeping amazingly! 12 hours a night and two 2ish hour naps. A NEW thing is that you now sleep with a blanket. After you kept waking early from your naps and would squawk once in a while in the middle of the night, we decided to put a blanket in with you. Who knew you would love it so much? Once we put that little blankie in with you, you went crazy. You rolled around on it and crawled all over the place. And it truthfully does help you sleep better!
You are still a finicky little bottle drinker. You just don't really care to waste time drinking your bottle. Hopefully we can transition you to a sippy cup and cow's milk soon!
We are still working on the sign language. Whereas every sign used to look like "finish", now you clap for every sign. You just love to clap and to you, it is now the universal sign. Its okay, you're learning.

Some old things?

Its so funny how you forget how to do some things and then remember later on. You used to "click" your tongue all the time but then you forgot for awhile but now you are doing it all the time again.
I have been looking back at a lot of "old things". Well memories really. I keep thinking about all the little stages we have been through and how much both you and I have grown. Yes, this year has been the most spectacular year of my life. Yours too....but that's because it is the first and only year of your life so far.

What a year! What an amazing 2 months this has been....what an amazing 12 months this has been!

We love and cannot wait to see what you will do next! More words, steps, crazy break dancing skills....we shall see!

We love you Tiny.

Love your Momma and Daddy

Worst Foods: Intro

2011-10-09T23:05:00.002-06:00

Good food is hard to find. Not taste wise, but health wise. There are so many options out there. New studies are coming out constantly. So, how do you determine which information is correct and which information is bogus? This has been a struggle for me since I started my nutrition degree. It has become an even greater concern for me since Isabella started solids. So I have spent lots of time researching what foods are best and which ones are junk. Many of my resource are shown in this previous post. Some of my knowledge also comes from my degree. Some comes from trusted internet resources. I think that information needs to be shared - especially with all of the conflicting research out there!

That's why I am starting a new "blog series". Introducing

I can't wait to share these with you. You will find that some of these items are shocking. Some are parading as health food. Some may be obvious to you. So stay tuned! This will be an ongoing list. Here are a few things you can look forward to:

Margarine
Peanut Butter (depending on the kind)
Artificial Sweetners
Soy

PS. I have been a "no-sugar" diet for about a month (with the exception of Isabella's birthday cupcakes) and I have lost 9 lbs. Exciting! Strangely enough, I have been eating a lot more butter, coconut oil, whole milk/yogurt, and eggs. There really is something to this tradition food diet.

The Party of the Year!

2011-10-06T15:01:00.000-06:00

I have a one year old. I have a one year old. I... have... a... one... year... old...

I feel like I still have to repeat it to believe it! It is so crazy! It seems just like yesterday but forever ago at the same time. This has been the most life changing, crazy year of my entire life. I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Isabella is the greatest blessing. She is the source of so much love, joy, and laughter.

To celebrate this monumental event, we threw Isabella a smashing party! I have been in party planning mode for the entire month of September - hence the break from blogging. Initially, I searched the internet for inspiration. I knew I wanted a cupcake theme - for our little cupcake. I also wanted to focus on a pattern and some specific colors. So we ended up with a black, pink, and orange, polka dot, cupcake themed party. It was so much fun!

Here are several pictures from the event!

Isabella's Happy Birthday Banner

Cupcakes and Isabella's Smash Cake

(I made cakes stands and little signs for each flavor of cupcake)

Pictures of Isabella's First Year

The cupcake table spread

Opening Presents!

Silly face!

After all the presents were opened, guess what baby girl wanted to play with....styrofoam...go figure!

Momma and the Birthday girl

Not quite sure about this giant sweet sugary thing

Up until the party, Isabella had only had sugar one other time - ice cream on the 4th of July.

Messy face....

She never truly dug into the cake. After a few tastes of frosting, she just wanted to play with it.

Getting hosed down

A family picture!

(I made her onesie using this tutorial - super easy!)

I love my family.

(you can kind of see the sweet booties Uncle Jeremiah made for Izzy. They match the onesie)

The "cupcake toss"

the last time

2011-10-02T22:00:00.000-06:00

Tonight was the last time I rocked my baby under 1 to sleep. I savored every bit of it. I sang to her an extra long time Squeezed her. Kissed her. Held her hand. Played with her hair. All just to make it last longer. I laid her down and lingered just to get a good look at her laying peacefully, locking this treasured memory away. I cannot believe she will be 1 in the morning.

bitter sweet: this would be the one word I would use to describe this past month...the month leading up to Isabella's first birthday.

I knew it would be this way. When she turned 6 months old, it seemed to be the start of the count down to one year...and now its here.

I use the word bittersweet because my heart feels so conflicted. I am so proud of my little girl. I can't even put into words this feeling. To look back over the past year and see the way she has grown, not only physically, but as a complete person, it makes me feel blessed, joyful, content, proud, grateful, love, etc etc etc....like I said, I can't exactly put it into words. However, the other side of all of this is a sadness. A sadness that my little baby girl, my firstborn, the baby who made me a mother, is not so little any more. I find myself reflecting on a lot of "last times". For instance....

The last time....

I felt her kick in my tummy
she wore newborn size clothes, diapers
she slept in the bassinet in our room
we bathed her in her infant tub
she woke up several times at night
we pulled her into bed with us to get a few more hours of sleep in the morning
she stayed where we put her down
she was swaddled
she nursed...
she took a pacifier
she would sleep ANYWHERE
I fed here before I went to sleep
I rocked her to sleep
etc etc etc

While these "last times" are a bit sad they also accompany a lot of "first times".

Like, the first time she...

looked into my eyes
slept in her own room
bathed in a "big girl tub"
slept through the night
rolled over
crawled
took two 2 hour naps
found her thumb
ate food
slept with a blankie
said "mama" and "dada"
used sign language
etc etc etc

I have cherished these moments and cling to the memories. Though they have passed and with that comes a bit of nostalgic sadness, I look forward to all of the other "firsts" that are in store. I cannot wait for...her first birthday (tomorrow!), her first steps, her first loose tooth, her first sleepover, etc etc.

Tomorrow night, I will get to rock my 1 year old to sleep for the first time. It will not look any different than tonight but it is significant to me. I am so grateful to the Lord for Isabella. She is a blessing and I cannot believe He has entrusted such a precious gift to Derrik and I. May we continue to seek Him as we raise her up. Thank you Jesus for my 1 year old, Isabella Ann.

awhile

2011-10-02T16:19:00.002-06:00

**have you ever written a post and thought you hit "publish"....oops...this was written a week ago.**

thats what it has been since I've blogged....awhile.

Honestly, this month I was hoping to be blogging a lot more BUT life has gotten quite crazy....which I feel is the story of my life. I keep wondering when life will slow down for just a few weeks.....and honestly, not until the new year most likely or maybe the beginning of December. While I love having some fun things to look forward to and love seeing family and friends, there is something beautiful about an empty schedule with no traveling in the near future.

On that note, let me share some of the crazy things that have been going on....

2 weeks ago today, I CUT my hair. You remember how I changed my hair 4 weeks ago... While I loved the different colors and the cool, interesting way it looked, something unexpected happened: it all turned blue. That's right, BLUE. Let me explain. My hair started out as a beautiful array of pink, magenta, and blue. Slowly, over the course of a week, all of the pink and magenta were swallowed up by the blue. It took over. After 2 weeks, there was only one spot of my hair that had a bit of pink left in it. So I decided I had a few options: 1) Live with it. 2) Try to dye it back. 3) Cut it. I debated for a week (this was after only having it colored for 6 days). My husband (who was against me doing ANYTHING to my hair EVER) really wanted me to possibly try to dye it back. That didn't sound all that appealing to me. I knew that I would end up with dead, dry, unhealthy ends. Not to mention, who knew what kind of process I would have to go through to try and achieve my previous color. So after contemplating, I decided it was time. After 10 years, I would cut my hair short. I have always wondered if I could pull it off, so I was secretly excited to try it all out. My dear friend Kristin, agreed and she cut it. And let me say.... I LOVE IT! and so does everyone I talk to. It is kind of a wedge bob with some side-swept bangs. I would post a pic...but I don't have one... so, soon. THANK YOU KRISTIN!

I have been super busy with projects for Isabella's first party which is this upcoming Saturday. Her invitations turned out super cute. I also have been working on a little banner that says "happy birthday Isabella!". Other projects include menu planning (for the party), scouring the web for cupcake recipes, shopping online and in store blah blah blah. New post showing pictures of party projects to come!

Finally, we have been traveling a bit. We spent a week at my cousins' house watching little Wyatt man while they went out of town. Conveniently, Derrik had a bi-annual regional staff meeting just 10 minutes away for 3 of those days. It was quite the trip filled with lots of fun times wrangling two under 18 months. I walked away unharmed, as did the children...I think. There are a lot of great things about watching two little ones close to the same age. They share meals together in their highchairs, they play together, they inspire one another (especially Wyatt with Isabella - she has been chatting up a storm since we left!), and they learn things like sharing, patience, and that the world doesn't just revolve around them. While I am glad that it is impossible to have babies just 5 months apart, I am encouraged that I can survive and thrive with 2 little ones. That being said, we will just wait on a little #2 for awhile.

So that is all. Awhile has been too long and hopefully it won't be awhile before I write again.

Isabella's Schedule - Updated 2.0

2011-09-03T00:20:00.000-06:00

Every time a change occurs in Isabella's schedule, I like to document it with one of these posts. I figure it will be helpful with future children.

I love love love that Isabella is on a schedule. It may seem ironic but a schedule offers us so much freedom. Freedom comes with predictability. I know that I have 2 two-hour chunks where she is napping which is so helpful to get things done and during her known waketimes we can schedule outings, errands, swimming, etc.

izzy's new playroom: the kitchen

Of course, her schedule is also flexible. For instance, this week we went to dinner at a friends house. Isabella took her afternoon nap and slept later than usual and we let her knowing we would be out later. We visited for awhile which resulted in a 9:45 bedtime for Isabella. She did great (thus the reason we felt free to visit). On Sundays, Isabella misses her morning nap due to church and takes and early afternoon nap and has a bit of an earlier bedtime. Sometimes she skips her afternoon nap and we do some fun day trip. I believe her rather firm schedule the majority of the time allows for these variations.

playtime is so silly....

So this is what our day to day looks like as of now!

{Isabella's Schedule}

8:00 am - wake up. bottle. lately she wakes up around 7:30 but I let her chat and play so I can finish working out (or waking up).
8:30 am - diaper change. morning kisses. sometimes we head in to mommy and daddy's room to finish waking daddy up and enjoy some family snuggle time....our favorite!
8:45 am - wash hands (now that she is feeding herself) and breakfast.
9:00 am - clean up and get dressed for the day.
9:10 am - playtime. a favorite lately is the dishwasher. while momma cleans up from b-fast, baby helps "load" the dishwasher...by taking out everything.
10:30 am - naptime. isabella is now up for about 2.5 hrs before naps as opposed to 2.
12:30 - 1:00 pm - wake up.bottle diaper change.
1:00 - 1:30 pm - lunch.
1:45 pm - playtime.
3:00 pm - naptime.
5:00 pm - wake up. bottle. diaper change. play time.
6:00 - 6:15 pm - dinner time. we eat as a family now and enjoy it so much.
6:45 pm - bathtime. she still loves bath time....still into splashing these days...and sucking water off the bottom of the tub after the water is drained - kinda gross but funny!
7:10ish pm - lotion (no patience for massage these days). bottle. brush teeth. story. prayers.
7:30-7:45 pm - bedtime. notice there is no dreamfeed any longer....she sleeps 12-13 at night now.

{naptime routine}

naptime routine is still the same. she still is such a good napper and usually takes 2 solid 2-hour naps a day. she still needs her own bed with a dark-room and a loud fan. lately she needs a bit more time to help herself wind down. we often hear her talking for about 10 minutes after we lay her down...sometimes we hear her slap the walls or giggle. what is going on in there?

{bedtime routine}

bedtime is pretty much the same except we now brush her teeth before her story time. she loves having her teeth brushed and will even open her mouth and say "ahhhh". it is so cute. i am sure the novelty will wear off soon but for now, it is a new favorite activity of izzy's.

....so is bathtime

{dreamfeed}

as of the end of june, right before isabella turned 9 months, we no longer do the dreamfeed. we knew it was time and like other night time feedings we have dropped it was a little rough for 3 or so nights. she would wake up between 11 and 2 and fuss for a few minutes and go back to sleep. now she sleeps completely through the night. for whatever reason, we still hear her give one single cry here and there between 11 and 1. who knows?

{mealtime routine}

mealtime is slightly different these days as well. we now start with a good hand washing. isabella pretty much feeds herself almost her entire meal these days so i think it is important to wash those little exploring hands good. then we pray and practice our sign language. isabella had "finished" mastered for awhile but once she learned to clap, she has decided to use it for everything. we'll keep working on it! i think i may do a seperate post on her actual menu these days but here is a post on solids in general.

i am soaking up the time we still have while izzy is on a two nap schedule, i know eventually (by 18 months) she will drop to just one a day and everything will change in a big way. for now we are loving the way things are. look for a new schedule post when this changes!

new...

2011-09-01T23:22:00.000-06:00

Lots of new things going on around here these days!

First, this new picture of Isabella.

She finally has barely enough hair to clip into a bow. This is great because she keeps pulling off her headband.

Obviously, new hair per my last post.

New semester - so amazing! The fall is always crazy as we recruit, start up Bible studies, plan our large group, hang out with our student leaders, etc etc etc. This week we had 125 students at our Nav Night! We also had a great turn out at the club fair where we mingled with students, handed out candy, gave spiritual interest surveys, and had a blast - well Derrik and our students did anyway...Isabella and I were home since this all took place during her first nap.

Oh, also I have new addiction....pinterest. Have you checked this site out? Genius. I love this idea. I am using it right now to help plan Isabella's first birthday party (which should take place exactly a month from today - ahhh so much to do!).

Here's my pinterest page...follow me!

So naturally, we have lots of new projects to start for this upcoming party, but here is a project I finished recently - just a few weeks ago.

I give you the book page cafe canvas!

I got the idea/tutorial for this project here. This is one of my all time favorite blogs. I love everything she does and aspire to be as creative as she is.

The differences to my project include:

staining the pages in coffee and allowing them to dry before gluing them to the canvas.

I also created coffee ring stains by dripping coffee on the pages after they dried and allowing them to dry again.

I used favorite Bible passages...yes, I ripped pages out of a Bible....but it was for a beautiful cause, right?
I painted the word Cafe and the coffee cup vector on it as well to add to our coffee house feel in our kitchen/dining room/living room

So fun, so fulfilling...this wall (in my dining room) has been bare for far to long and now it is beautiful and savy.

...a change...

2011-08-28T00:31:00.001-06:00

About a week or so ago, I came across this website on craftgawker.com (check this site out - it is awesome! so is foodgawker.com)

The Beauty Department

They have all sorts of fun hair and make up tutorials and lots of beauty tips. That is when I saw this.....

I love this look and I thought of some certain people who could seriously rock this hair (Bethany....) but it wasn't an option for them (her - nursing school!). I needed to find someone to live vicariously though because I just didn't think I could pull it off. Not to mention, trying to convince my husband that this was a good idea seems highly improbable. But the idea just stuck with me. That's when Kristin, a good friend who does amazing things with hair, said we should try it out on me. And that started the journey....now to convince Derrik.

Derrik is not/was not a fan of this idea. He prefers my hair normal colored and long so this wasn't his idea of something "fun" or "pretty". But I somewhat convinced him to let me do it and not complain to much.....

So on Friday, August 26th I did it....

and I love it!

I have never done ANYTHING like this to my hair and I am so excited.

I don't know how long I will keep it like this but for now, I'm rocking it.

*My mom doesn't know about it and will KILL me when she finds out....sorry momma!

Isabella Ann: 9 + 10 months!

2011-08-27T05:00:00.001-06:00

Oh Izzy Izzy Izzy,

What words come to mind when I think of the last two months....hmmm.....outstanding, amazing, hilarious, etc., etc., etc. Where to even begin....

Well we have been seriously busy these last 2 months (hence the reason momma has had trouble keeping up with these monthly updates). We have been to the mountains 3 times, to visit Papa and Mimi, swimming, walking, among many other adventures!

So....

i love your expressions

Since you learned to crawl at the end of May, you have been on the go....nonstop. After crawling, and pulling yourself up shortly after, you started walking along the furniture...we are just waiting for you to take your first steps but now that you can get around, you don't seem too anxious to jump to that milestone just yet.

You have always been a chatter box... squawking, squeaking, yapping, etc etc. July 4th weekend you took it to the next level, saying your first word. Would you believe it was "yum yum"? So cute. Randomly during some meal, you just said it. It was hilarious and sweet and cute. You didn't stop there. Soon "mama", "dada", "baba"(?) followed. You just chatter gibberish all the time, like you are truly trying to carry on a conversation. It is the sweetest thing ever - I could listen to you say "mama" over and over again - and you do!

Your favorite activities include dropping things (momma doesn't let you play that game too long - its gets old fast), banging two objects together, and playing in the dishwasher - this is by far your favorite. It is like you can hear the dishwasher open from across the room. You come crawling and then "help" to unload it (even if momma is trying to load it). You love spoons, spatulas, the garlic press - they truly are some of the best toys!

helping unload in your tu-tu

Food has been quite the adventure these last two months. You are trying more and more yummy things and you even started feeding yourself at the beginning of July - chicken noodle soup! You love it! Feeding yourself has opened up a whole new world for you. It is also quite a deal more messy. You especially love fruit, toast, crackers, teething cookies, and chicken noodle soup!
Speaking of another food you "love" - raw onion. After finding a piece on the floor in the kitchen, you went to town. I hand you a bit now whenever I am chopping onions. You say "yum yum" and gnaw away!

yummy onion

Speaking of "yum yum", since you started feeding yourself, you are now interested in every little piece of trash/food/paper/lint/etc. on the floor that you can stick in your mouth. Anytime you stick something in your mouth off the floor, you chew on it and say "yum yum". This has become very handy for your daddy and I - we can stop you from swallowing it this way! So far we have dug an egg shell, a sticker, a rock, and a few other pieces of paper out of your mouth. Thanks for the warning!
As far as clothing goes, you fit quite the spectrum. You wore 6-9 month clothing for the longest time and only started to fit your 12 month clothing toward the end of your 10th month. You are right on track for your age. We occasionally fit you into some 3-6 month outfits if we can squeeze you in! It is always so surreal when you grow out of things...it makes my heart just a little sad.

A wonderful accomplishment these months has been sleeping 12-13 hours at night. We decided it was time to drop the "dreamfeed" toward the end of June. You had rough go at first, but after a week, you were sleeping through wonderfully! We still hear you give one, tiny, occasional cry randomly at night but it is lovely that you sleep so soundly now!

One more thing we started this summer toward the end of June is the "consequence stick". Now that you are mobile, you try to get into a lot of things you shouldn't. Your little will is starting to make an appearance as well. So now we are implementing some discipline and training. Momma and daddy try to stay consistent and teach right from wrong. We know we are doing what God is asking us too. I will probably write a post explaining this further in the future!
Sign Language is starting to pick up...well sorta. You have figured out "finish". You sign it when you are finished with a meal - although it looks more like a wave than anything. You have started signing "finish" when you want us to stop doing something - like wipe your face. You wave "bye-bye" as well and it is so cute!

first time swimming

Swimming has been a blast too! You love the water - splashing, spinning, "jumping" into the water. Next summer, we will probably do some swimming lessons!

Wow - I know I could go on and on but we will stick to the highlights! You are truly an amazing little girl. Your personality is blossoming and it is the most phenomenal thing. You truly are extraordinary....and hilarious. Your sense of humor already shows and you have your daddy and I cracking up at least once a day. My prayer is that you would always be yourself, the way God made you. Don't let anyone look down on you for being "silly" or young. Follow the Lord and He will lead you.

Thank you for being you....thank you for being mine - my baby girl.

Momma and daddy love you very very much.

...this happened 2 weeks ago tomorrow

2011-08-24T21:12:00.001-06:00

Derrik was t-boned at Union and Woodman two weeks ago tomorrow...this all happened days before the Fall Launch started...talk about bad timing. Needless to say our car is totaled. This is the car we received for free from a donor so we are definitely mourning the loss.

BUT

Praise the Lord Derrik is okay!!! That is the most important thing.

So now, we are waiting for "all things insurance" to work out. Derrik was less at fault than "the other guy" but he still received a ticket so there are some things that have to be sorted out. Best case scenario, the insurance determines that the fault was not 50/50 and we receive something for our car! Please pray we do!

Speaking of "the other guy", he was the nicest man from Kentucky. Derrik and him had a great conversation while everything was being sorted out. Turns out, he loves the Lord! He was so kind, even inviting Derrik to coffee when we visit Kentucky in November for our Navigator Staff Conference. Derrik says it is exactly how he would picture 2 Believers getting into an accident - grace, kindness, forgiveness, and love.

Thank you Lord for protecting Derrik during the accident. Thank you that Andy was "the other guy" and that it is a testimony to you when your disciples show love for one another, even though they have never met! You are so good God. Please continue to provide for us. May we find favor with the insurance company. Please bless up with another car. You know we cannot afford one without something from the insurance company. But we trust you and know you are in control. We love you Lord. In Jesus name, we ask these things. Amen

last days of summer

2011-08-24T13:16:00.000-06:00

What a crazy week it has been....well crazy month really! The fall launch always is. BUT WE LOVE IT! We love meeting all of the new freshman, seeing all of our students again, and starting a new year of ministry. Anyone in college ministry will tell you that the first 3 weeks are crucial! The people that these freshman get to know in the first 3 weeks tend to be the people that they will hang out and be influenced by the next 4 years of their life (and maybe longer!!). Needless to say, last week (the week before school started) and this week are insane, so we took the weekend to do some fun things before the summer ends.

Saturday night we took off for the Broncos preseason game with my cousins, Rachel and Mike. It was a blast. Mike and Derrik watched the game while Rachel and I discussed books we've read, babies, movies....pretty much everything but football. It was great!

Sunday, Izzy and I relaxed at Mimi and Papa's house....it was wonderful! Derrik had his annual fantasy football draft in Denver. Football season is Derrik's favorite time of the year and fantasy football makes it just that much more amazing. Its also fun for him because it helps him stay in touch with some close friends from high school.

Monday, we hung out with Wyatt all day while his momma (Rachel) attended her first day of school. It is so much fun to see Isabella and him interact. They love each other and have a blast together. They shared meals together, swam in the little tiny pool, took naps together (okay, not really together but at the same time - hallelujah!!), and shared some baby talk. I have to say, watching two little ones this close in age is a challenge to say the least. I don't know what I would have done without my dad and Derrik there to lend a hand every once and a while.

eating breakfast together

splashing in the pool

izzy kept trying to sit on wyatt's lap

swim diapered butts

Monday night, we loaded up the kiddos and met up with Rachel and Mike at Casa Bonita. That's right, we visited the always enamoring Mexican restaurant experience. As always, the food was terrible (seriously, you think they would make even more money by having good food - especially at their prices), the ambiance perfect, and the entertainment hokey. The babies decided to skip their afternoon nap. Both talked in their rooms for 1.5 hours instead of napping......so if made for an interesting evening. One of the main reasons, we wanted to go was to have our little ones' picture taken at the wild west studio. This was the result.

None the less, it was fun and I would visit again but most likely in the middle of the day with a well rested little one....and I would NOT eat the same thing....although, I don't know if there is an alternative that is truly worth it.

riding in the train together

not a fan of the dark, scary cave....but she has her daddy

cousins

silly bean

Tuesday, we headed for the pool (especially with the HEAT - blah, is it fall/winter yet??) with Wyatt and Rachel again. Isabella is a splashing maniac. It is her favorite thing to do and she makes sure everyone gets in on her fun...even if you were hoping to stay dry.

"swim hair" - this picture cracks me up

Now we are home, ready to take on the crazy week ahead. I think we will be staying put for awhile too....as much fun as it is to travel and go here and there, we really need to get back into our day to day schedule, especially if we are going to survive the fall!

Please keep UCCS and our ministry there in your prayers this week and the upcoming ones as well! We know God is going to do BIG things!

all you need is spaghetti....

2011-08-20T06:00:00.001-06:00

lots and lots of spaghetti!

(and bread sticks and chocolate chip cookies)

Each year, we throw a great, big "Spaghetti Dinner" to kick off the new school year. After helping freshman move into the dorms, getting to know them, and playing Ultimate Frisbee with them, we top the week off by inviting all of them (and more) to eat yummy spaghetti!

God provided in huge ways for the dinner this year through 2 different churches.

One church provided the perfect location for our event this year. They let us use a house they own right across the street from UCCS! We all gathered in the backyard which was giant and perfect on a warm summer evening. We couldn't have had a more fantastic place.

The past 2 years, I have been responsible to cook TONS of spaghetti (enough for 100 + people), along with garlic bread and dessert! It is a big event but I show love through cooking, so I don't mind. HOWEVER, things are a bit different now with "the little tiny" running around (or crawling rather). I was prepared to try to make it work but then we received a call from a church partner of ours saying they would like to pay to have it catered! AMAZING! God is so good.

My only job was to provide 300+ chocolate chip cookies! Yum!!

Thank you Cragmoor and Crossroads churches!!!

thoughts on solids...

2011-08-19T12:36:00.000-06:00

eat, eat, eat!

exhibit a

That was all Izzy did in the beginning (besides sleeping and pooping). Back then, however, it was only breast milk and then eventually formula. Once she hit 4 months old, the dilemma hit: when to start solids????

With my nutrition background, this became a big question for me. On top of it, we were having so many nursing problems (that was the start of the breast milk decline...) that starting solids seemed like just one more crazy thing to add into the mix.

I believe in being an informed parent. Unfortunately in the medical world today, you often have to be your own advocate or your children's advocate. Therefore, I hardly take any advice a doctor gives "point blank". I research my options and choose one that I feel is best for myself or Isabella. Don't get me wrong, my pediatrician office is great! I usually see one of the PA's and she is amazing. They often give sound advice that doesn't involve too much medical intervention and try to give you a natural approach to most issues. When we were having troubles with weight gain and nursing, the PA said there was no reason to start her on solids this early.

So my question is: Why do so many pediatricians suggest starting a tiny baby who can't even sit by themselves on rice cereal which has absolutely no nutrients (especially any "boxed" brand) and can cause constipation?

And why do we take our pediatricians' advice (who are not nutritionists/dietitians) "without question" on nutritional issues?

Here are my thoughts on starting solids (which are personal opinion but have a nutritional/experiential basis):

There is no true reason to start babies on solids before 6 months and definitely not at 4.

Babies are fragile little beings born with an immature digestive system that can only process breast milk/formula. That is why we monitor their poo so closely because it is the first sign that something is up. This is how I determined that I had an oversupply in the beginning with Isabella and also how I determined that she wasn't getting enough when my milk supply initially dropped. Babies are also born with a weak esophageal sphincter - the reason behind spitting-up so often and potentially reflux. Another thing happening in the first months is the establishment of good flora. Good flora is the good bacteria in the gut that needs to proliferate so that it can help digest food. These tiny little organisms are so important to digestion and big problems can happen when bad bacteria outweigh the good. This happens when we are on antibiotics, which wipe out good and bad bacteria - that is why it is so important to eat cultured foods like yogurt or take probiotics when you have been on antibiotics. An imbalance of the bacteria can cause diarrhea, yeast infections, thrush (a yeast infection of the mouth in babies -Isabella had this when I had to go on antibiotics for a UTI 2 weeks after birth...yes, antibiotics and their effects pass through breast milk), etc. Developing good flora takes a bit - we started giving Isabella "infant probiotics" when she developed thrush and continued long after. It helped reduce gas and spit-up too!

These alone are great reasons to allow a baby's digestive system to mature a bit longer than 4 months before starting any kind of solid.

Here are some additional thoughts on the subject....

What to feed a baby as their first food is right along side the question of when to start solids. Rice cereal, particularly the kind that is boxed and sold in stores has minimal nutrients. This is often the first food people look to. In reality, there are many other first foods a baby can have that are way more abundant in nutrients i.e. avocado, sweet potato, and banana (although this can also be constipating and is on the sweet side). If rice cereal is the route you choose, homemade brown rice cereal is supremely superior (and easy)!

Babies adapt to solids much more quickly at an older age. Starting at 4 months means feeding them liquid cereal until they learn not to protrude their tongue and stop gagging. The older a baby is the smaller the learning curve.

This next thought is something I think about A LOT lately... Long gone are the days of smaller grocery bills and simple mealtimes. Don't get me wrong, there is something so beautiful about sharing each meal time with Isabella. We eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together BUT I know we will do this together for years to come. So why rush it?

exhibit b

With solids, there is way more responsibility. You have to be sure to feed your child their 3 meals a day....and in a timely fashion so they aren't eating dinner at 8pm. You also have to ensure that your child is eating a nutritious meal and not developing a picky eater mentality. On top of that, it is messy! We are pretty adamant about teaching Izzy good table manners but accidents happen and so do baby tantrums where food goes flying. Now that Iz is feeding herself, food gets all over her little body! (see exhibit A and B) Sometimes, I literally have to "hose her down" in the sink if something particularly messy is being served (exhibit c). This makes going out-to-eat especially difficult. I miss the days where Derrik and I could go out and enjoy a meal together while Isabella played at the table in a high chair or in her car seat with a bucket of toys. Now, when we go out, I am focused on getting Isabella fed and making sure she doesn't make a total mess and sticks to the good manners we teach her at home. Its a bit more stressful and I often end up eating my own food without truly taking time to enjoy it - which is why I love to go out! But this is parenting! Take those months where you don't have to worry about fixing a meal for anyone except your husband and yourself and RELISH in them. Delight in them and extend them! Give yourself the 2 extra months and soak it up!

exhibit c

Now.....there are always exceptions.....my "nephew" Wyatt was in love with food since the day he was born. He nursed like a champ and at 3 months (or maybe younger) he watched every bite his momma and daddy ate...I imagine if he could have licked his lips he would have! He was ready to start solids at 4 months and has always been ahead of the game in that way. He started feeding himself way ahead of the game too. Each baby truly is different. My heart would be that you would truly assess what is best for your baby and for your family and not just start solids because your pediatrician says so, because you feel pressure from other people, or because you simply can't wait for your baby to start eating real food.

As parents, we are so so so proud of our little ones and all the new things they learn to do. Each tiny milestone makes our hearts swell with so much pride it hurts! We are always trying to find the balance of spurring them on without pushing them too hard. We make hundreds of decisions everyday to try and do what is in their best interests and in the best interests of the family. Any decision made around what your child should eat is a big decision. Starting solids is one of those decisions....the pros and cons should be weighed carefully.

i am SICK of it!

2011-08-09T22:42:00.001-06:00

Sick of what you may ask?

Sick of sickness!!!...!

This is the 4th month in a row that Isabella has been sick at the beginning of the month....FOURTH! And I am so over it! Each month it has been something different.

seriously...sick again!?

May brought a 2 week long sickness that struck us both....
June brought the dreaded bladder infection accompanied by the horrendous ER visit.
July was a virus caught from cousin Wyatt that seemed to get better but came back for round two.....this one I caught too and it gave me a headache/migraine for 3 days.
AND NOW August.....a yucky cold characterized by a runny nose and a cough...

It has been holding on a full week now. I thought she was teething as per my last post. But after a visit to the Dr., a cold was the official verdict (although, I think she was teething as well). This has also postponed all of Isabella's vaccines. We were already on a delayed schedule and now she is way, way behind!

Poor Baby Girl....she just can't catch a break. The feeling of wellness fades all too quickly. This time is just so crumbly...always having to get her nosed wiped and "sucked" with the bulb. And now the cough. We hear her sometimes in the middle of the night. Hopefully she feels better soon....and stays better this time!

I often have to fight the feeling of fault. Part of me feels that she wouldn't be catching all these "bugs" if she were still nursing and receiving my antibodies. But ultimately, I know.....this is life. If she is going to be playing with her cousin and going to the nursery at church, she is bound to catch something....it is inevitable. The best I can do is try to keep her healthy and protect her as best I can without locking her away in her room! That seems a bit extreme!

teething stinks!

2011-08-04T00:13:00.000-06:00

...yup that's basically how I feel right now....

TEETHING STINKS!!!

Poor baby girl has had a rough couple of days with this darn tooth coming in.

Izzy got her first tooth at 7 1/2 months and the next one followed right after. They came in fairly smooth with just one rough day of fussy clingyness and one night of pain and crying.

This one is much more stubborn....my heart breaks for Izzy.

Her symptoms are as follows....

soooo that's why she rubs her little gums all over gross tables...

Clingyness - poor Iz just wants to be held and cuddled....which is highly abnormal for her...if its not nap time or bed time, she wants to "free".
Runny nose - we didn't have this with the last one but her nose is seriously running "off her face"....its a constant flow. She is stuffed up and miserable because of it.
Interesting BMs - not to much detail here but lets just say that she gets about one a day that is....messy.
Decreased appetite - my daughter will pretty much eat whatever I put in front of her... she is such a good eater and rarely picky. But with the discomfort, pain, and I am guessing a bit of a sensitive tummy from having so much mucous running down her little throat, she is definitely NOT eating what I put in front of her. Currently she will only eat a bit of her breakfast (oatmeal and avocado), crackers, teething cookies, pears, and raw onion....yes, that's right....raw onion is one of her comfort foods.
Poor sleep - BLAH! Isabella usually sleeps amazingly (see previous post). Not so with this teething thing goin' on. Both naps today were interspersed with a few minutes of crying here and there. Tonight she has already cried a few times since going down. And last night....oh last night.....

atleast there are teething cookies when nothing else tastes yummy...

Izzy went to sleep around 9 pm last night after a wonderful dinner and visit with Emmy or "Auntie Em" as we call her. She went down ok, even though I had a feeling she was teething. Between 9 and 2 am she was up every hour letting out one or two cries. She would soothe herself back down to sleep within a few short minutes, but my heart was breaking....

At 2:30, she started crying and I could tell she needed me. She needed her momma to come in and make it all better. So I warmed up a bottle (hoping she wouldn't need it because that would just throw off our whole sleeping through the night thing) and headed in with some Ibuprofen and baby orajel. Usually, I try to refrain from the use of medicine. This is true for myself and my family as a whole but when your baby is in so much pain and you have a way to relieve it, medicine becomes the most beautiful invention in the entire world.

I found her standing in her crib crying. My heart broke and I scooped her up. She ceased crying immediately and I held her tight. We rocked in the rocking chair as I gave her some miracle medicine. The next 20 minutes are some of my most favorite moments I have spent with her in a long time.

As she snuggled into the crook of my arm, she looked up at me. Then she started to talk so softly, as if to tell me she was so happy I was there and how much better she felt in momma's arms. Then she started to play with my hair. Isabella doesn't ever pull my hair. She just runs her sweet little fingers through it over and over again. So there we sat in the quiet: Isabella quietly chattering away, running her fingers through my hair as I responded with "shushes", hums, and kisses on her sweet head. A few minutes in and I realized the miracle juice was kicking in...she started to suck her thumb. So, I turned off the night light and we rocked as I sang songs of worship about Jesus to her. I never wanted it to end but, knowing she could finally sleep in peace, I laid her gently in her crib. She slept soundly the rest of the night.

While I am so glad that Isabella sleeps through the night, there are things I miss about those middle of the night moments with her. I am glad they are few and far between but when they do come, I cherish them....deeply.

Sleep well tonight little bean! Momma loves you and would take away your pain if I could. But know that when the pain does come, momma is here to comfort you and hold you. I love you darling.

sleepy bean...

2011-08-01T12:30:00.000-06:00

Isabella is a light sleeper....has been since the beginning.

Isabella is also a great sleeper.....12-13 hrs at night and two 2-2.5 hr naps a day......she definitely wasn't a great sleeper from the beginning....(more on sleep training is this post)

When Isabella was a tiny little thing....itty bitty teeny tiny baby, she would fight sleep like nobody's business. She would always keep her left eye open, just the teeniest bit. As she was falling asleep, any small noise would rouse her causing that one eye to peek open. Thus, getting her back to sleep in the middle on the night after feedings was so difficult. She was never one of those "sleep through everything" babies.

I remember thinking, in the beginning, that we would try to help her learn to sleep through loud noises. We never wanted to tip-toe through our house. We wanted her to become accustomed to a bit of noise.....but that wasn't going to happen. She broke us before we broke her.

Say what you will, the girl is just a light sleeper...and probably always will be. The moment the car stops and the doors unlock, she awake. The moment she hears the knob to her bedroom door open, she's up. As long as she sleeps in a dark room with a loud fan, she sleeps great! The added bonus of a loud fan is we are pretty much free to "live" in our house. We watch movies, do laundry, have 15 people over downstairs for Bible study and she sleeps through it all.....as long as she has her fan.

The downside, she doesn't sleep well without her fan...which makes it hard for her to sleep outside of her room. If we are going somewhere, like a family get together or vacay or something, we usually bring her big box fan (or make sure they have one) and black curtains. Then she usually does great.

You may call her spoiled or unadaptable or whatever, but when it comes down to it, she is a well rested, happy, and she sleeps an average of 16 hrs a day. That is a beautiful thing for baby and momma. Aside from nutrition, sleep is one of the biggest priorities that I focus on for Isabella. A well rested baby = a happy baby! I believe the combination of learning my baby (knowing that she is a light sleeper) and setting her on a schedule has helped us accomplish a well rested baby. While our schedule is flexible to a degree, Isabella usually gets those 16 hrs of sleep. There are times that she may miss a nap, or go to bed later than usual, etc, but for the most part, we stick to her schedule. Because of this, Isabella truly "sleeps like a baby".

big changes

2011-07-14T23:00:00.000-06:00

I love nutrition...obviously. I mean it is what I received my degree in. I love it because honestly, I love food. I love to eat. But I also love it because I believe that proper nutrition affects all areas of our lives...because it affects how we feel physically. And when we don't feel good physically, be it a self-esteem thing or just feeling sick/crumby, it affects how we feel emotionally, socially, psychologically, and spiritually.

So naturally, I always try to make sure we follow a good, nutritious diet. Isabella definitely eats the best out of all of us. She eats all organic, homemade food. She eats lots of fruits and veggies and whole grains. I absolutely love making her baby food too...so fun and I know that I am giving her my best.

For Isabella I mostly go off of this book:

I love it! Very informative and easy to follow - and of course, very nutritious! There are also tons of great recipes and other practical tips. My freezer is filled with food cubes. We actually just purchased a stand up freezer from craigslist for our garage because it was getting out of control!

Derrik and I also eat pretty nutritious. Hardly any processed foods, some organics, lots of whole grains, etc etc. But I know our diet still isn't where it should be....too much refined sugar and other sweets. I am always on the look out for new, accurate information...and it just so happens that I know some very intelligent people. I have a dear friend from college, Kaleigh, who has some great info that she writes about on her blog. She is the reason I am reading this...

I also have a very knowledgeable friend named Renae. She has traveled an incredible road as her son had severe food allergies throughout his first year. He still has some, but nothing like before. His diet is still somewhat restricted and Renae has learned a lot about proper nutrition for her son. When I visited her early in June she told me about these two books... (she also told me about Super Baby Food).

This one....

and this one....

I am in the process of reading The Maker's Diet just now. So far, great information!! These two books are the best information I have found and they make complete sense.

Because of all of these resources, I foresee big changes in the DeWitt family diet! (I have even contemplated making my own formula....we shall see). One of the big things we have done to start is to make kefir and whey (made from kefir). We soak our oatmeal in the whey and put the pour the kefir on our cereal.

I am excited about all of this! I can't wait to see the difference it makes for us. I will try to keep you posted about the different changes we make. Better health...HERE WE COME!

Going Home....

2011-07-10T12:29:00.000-06:00

Busy.....that is the one word I would use to describe our life right now.....it has been WAY too long since my last post but with good reason!

We have had a fun-filled, travel-filled, family-filled adventure these last 2 weeks!

Our first adventure was to Papa and Mimi's house in Elizabeth, CO. Derrik and my dad took off on a four day fishing trip with my parents' church and me and Isaboo hung out with Mimi and Uncle Gerbil for a few days. It was fabulous. Uncle Jeremiah (yes I call him Gerbil...and he claims to hate it - but I think he is fond of the nickname) left on Tuesday the 28th of June for Burkina Faso, Africa on a medical mission trip with The Navigators. We are so excited and so proud of him! But we will miss him. I haven't been apart from him for this long EVER!

Next, we returned home for a 2 day whirlwind! We cleaned, did laundry, went to the Dr., packed and heading back out on Wednesday the 29th for a week in the mountains!

The past 2 summers before this one, Derrik and I have spent our summers in Granby, CO at Sol Vista. The past 2 summers we have served at the Rocky Mountain Region Navigator Summer Training Program (or RMR Nav STP for less of a mouthful!). The STP is a 10 week intensive program. College students from around our region sign up to work for the YMCA Snow Mountain Ranch (SMR) 40 hours a week and during their free time, we train them up! They are involved in Bible study, 2 large group meetings, one to one discipleship, evangelism training, and so much more! It is truly an amazing program and we LOVE working with these students....not to mention staying in the mountains for the summer is divine - the beauty, the cool weather, the wild life, and the beauty!

So naturally, we decided to visit. (this is our second visit so far this summer....and we plan to go up one more time!) Going up to SMR feels like going home. My family used to camp at SMR every summer for 2 weeks from the time I was 4 until college. I LOVE IT THERE....probably my favorite place in the whole world (although I am a sucker for the beach).

We had a fabulous time! It was the perfect vacay! Derrik and Papa did lots of fishing and Mimi did lots of hiking. Our extended family was even able to get a condo for the holiday weekend and joined in the fun! Isabella also went swimming for her first time!

Thursday, June 30th was also our 4th anniversary! It is crazy how time passes! We didn't actually celebrate but plan to very soon! I feel so blessed to have spent the last 4 years married to my best friend.

Then we celebrated the 4th! Isabella's first Independence Day! We celebrated by heading to Grand Lake for some food, ice cream, and shopping! They have the best fireworks show I have ever seen and we would have loved to watch it for the third year in a row BUT things are different now. Isabella was exhausted and we headed home to put the babe in bed. Maybe next year she can stay up!

What a fun week! We "celebrated" our 4th anniversary, Isabella turned 9 months (update coming soon!), she went swimming for the first time, and we celebrated this beautiful country!

she's her daddy's baby

2011-06-20T12:01:00.000-06:00

This may come as a shocker (or maybe you already know) but Isabella looks just like her daddy. The resemblance is uncanny.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D

I remember feeling somewhat sad, even a bit offended in the beginning when everyone started to say how much she looks like her daddy. I mean every momma wants their little girl to look like them and I was no different. But I love that she is a spittin' image of him. I love that she is truly OUR daughter. Now when someone makes this obvious statement, I swell with joy and pride.

When Derrik and I got married and I was working on our wedding slideshow, I remember thinking that Derrik and I would have some gorgeous babies....a few years later and here's the proof.

(and just to prove that she does look like me... a little bit)

Exhibit E

Exhibit F

A First Father's Day

2011-06-19T22:51:00.000-06:00

This year was Derrik's first Father's Day! Well sorta...I mean at this time last year I was pregnant and sporting a bump but baby girl was on the inside so this is the first with baby girl on the outside! The first of many I am sure!

My momma was out of town visiting her dad so we headed over to my cousin Rachel's with my dad to spend the day! We joined my cousin and her husband, Mikey, my uncle Randy, my cousin Travis, and his friend Shea.

Originally, our plan was to take to the kiddos (Isabella and Wyatt) to the pool but the weather was not cooperating so we stayed inside. We enjoyed some yummy steaks, veggie kabobs, beans, and a super yummy DQ ice cream cake. Then we played with the babies, watched some golf, and visited the ponies across the street.

It was great!

Here are my daddies!

My baby daddy with my baby

and my daddy with my baby daddy with my baby

my baby's shirt says "I love my Dad" - too cute!

a promise....

2011-06-18T13:56:00.000-06:00

I came across this verse in my QT (quiet time, that is) yesterday morning.

I was feeling discouraged over my "so-so" relationship with the Lord these days. Life isn't like it used to be where I could spend all morning with the Lord...now I have a little one that needs me. I find it hard to be consistent in my time with the Lord and was feeling distant from him.

The Lord is so merciful, full of grace and compassion. He has reminded me of this the last few days. During my holy yoga class on Thursday night, he brought Lamentations 3:21-26 to mind. I had memorized this verse years ago and even quoted it every morning before I got out of bed for awhile. It is a beautiful reminder that the Lord's compassions are new every morning. Each day is a new day, a fresh start.

Yesterday, I stumbled upon this verse that I had highlighted at some point in time. It was just what I needed and I felt the Lord asking me to claim it as a promise to Him. He spoke gently to my heart, reminding me that his Holy Spirit will never, ever ever ever EVER depart from me and neither will his word. No matter how far I feel from him, he has never left. Even in the good days and bad, he is the same. Everyday he is the same. And everyday my need for him is the same. What a beautiful reminder.

the day "it" ended...

2011-06-17T23:38:00.001-06:00

"It" being my milk supply......

I have been meaning to write this post for awhile...

But it makes me a bit sad to discuss and I am still dealing with self esteem issues surrounding this issue.

You may remember a few months back when I discussed the hardest thing I have ever done in parts one and two. This was a month or so after I discovered that my milk supply was decreasing...slowly but surely. Well now, almost 4 months after that post, I am sad to report that we have stopped breastfeeding...actually about a month ago.

I'm not sure the exact reasons why my body would not/could not increase back up to a good supply. I tried almost EVERYTHING, including:

pumping after EVERY feeding for 10-15 minutes
pumping every 2 hours (not at the same time I was doing the former)
trying a gluten free diet for a month
using the SNS (supplemental nursing system)
pumping once in the middle of the night (I will admit that I didn't do this one that often)
taking fenugreek every day - 3 times a day
drinking tons of water
drinking a beer a week
etc etc etc

By the way, if you are reading this and you have other ideas, I would love to know them for next time.

I knew my breastfeeding days were coming to an end.

At one point, when I was pumping or nursing every 2 hours, I kept track of what I was actually pumping and it was only about 6 oz a day. That led me to the decision to pump just twice a day - morning and at night. In the mornings my milk supply was the highest from resting all night and I could pump about 2 oz. Then by the end of the day I could pump another 2 if I was lucky. It was so time consuming to pump and with Isabella starting solids, I would have to feed her after she finished drinking so pumping was so complicated...without much gain. It would be one thing if I was pumping a decent amount of milk or if my supply was increasing. Isabella was also getting more and more attached to the bottle. It got to the point where she would only nurse for 2 minutes or so before refusing and crying for the bottle. My milk supply just kept on decreasing and decreasing....lower and lower. I was more and more discouraged.

Finally, I started pumping just once a day. It wasn't worth it anymore with my milk supply decreasing dramatically. I would pump at night and get about 1.5-2 oz. Isabella was getting a 4 or 5 oz bottle of breast-milk every 3 days. It wasn't enough for the effort I was putting in. And it wasn't increasing...it was only decreasing.

So at some point, near the end of May, I pumped for the last time. And at some point a few days later, Isabella received her final bottle of breast-milk. I don't remember when it was exactly and I am honestly glad! I think it would have been so difficult for me to have those moments be sooo final. I do, however, remember that I almost spilled that last bottle of breast-milk.

I am glad it was gradual. I am glad I tried everything I could. I know I exhausted my options. But I wish I were still nursing most days. I wish we could have mastered it. I wish she didn't have to drink this nasty formula and that we didn't have to pay absurd amounts of money for it. Somedays, especially when I see other mommas nursing or hear about it, I yearn to nurse again. I loved those moments (when it was easy) with Isabella. I would love to know that I was giving her my best and even wonder if she would be getting so sick if she was breastfed. I miss not having to prepare a bottle. I miss needing to use my nursing cover.

I don't know why I had this issue. I have some theories, namely slowing my milk supply to lower the oversupply to a point of no return. I also wish I wouldn't have started her on the bottle at 2 weeks and that I wouldn't have given her a pacifier at the same time. I wish I would have pumped more often and at the same time every day in the beginning when I had tons of milk (I used to be able to pump 5 oz at a time!). I wish I would have seen a lactation consultant earlier instead of diagnosing and trying to fix my oversupply on my own.

But now I know for next time. Next time, I will do things differently. But for now, at least Isabella is healthy and extremely happy. I am glad that we made it to almost 8 months with some breast-milk. I did the best that I could and that is all that I can do. Breastfeeding is hard....but I can't wait to do it again with the next one.

Isabella Ann: 8 Months!

2011-06-16T00:08:00.000-06:00

Isabella Ann, my sweet,

We are having a hard time grasping the fact that you are 8 months old and only 4 months away from a year....where did our itty bitty tiny little infant go? That infant has grown into an amazing baby whose ambition and capacity to learn inspires her momma and daddy!

Isabella, your seventh month was BY FAR the most radical. It was difficult in some ways with sickness and teething and awesome in other ways with crawling etc. We are loving watching you grow and love your desire to learn. This update is the one that could just go on and on....and it probably will because I don't want to forget a thing!

The month started with illness (just like the last month ended in it)....BLAH! You had a cold (that you lovingly shared with your mother, of course!) that hung on for 2 and a half weeks....TWO.FIVE! It was awful. Your appetite decreased and you wouldn't sleep well. Momma had to help you back into a schedule with some more sleep training.
To top off the illness, you started teething at the end of the 2.5 weeks. This resulted in your first tooth on the bottom right....precious. You got your second tooth toward the end of the month on the bottom left. We love those sweet little teeth and you love using them! You love to bite things, and chew on them. We have to watch you so closely these days.
As far as clothing, you are still wearing A LOT of 3-6 months size clothing (fits better without the clothe diaper) but you also fit into a lot of 6-9 month size (which fit better WITH the clothe diaper). It is so weird to stash away all your clothes that are too little...makes me sad. I cannot believe you are growing up so fast!

While you are still a (mostly) clothe diapered baby, we have had much anguish over these diapers this month. They have been leaking like crazy...so we have had to take some measures to fix them. Momma is quite sick of getting peed on and also sick of seeing you wake up from your naps with wet clothing! At night, you are still in disposable...just easier for us! Size 3 fit you well and probably will for awhile!
Oh my Dear, you do some funny things that make your dad and I crack up! Your giggle is amazing! So freakin' adorable that we can hardly stand it. You are always looking to learn new things and once you master them, you do them over and over again until eventually...you forget and learn something else. For awhile you mastered clicking your tongue and would do it constantly! It was your favorite thing to do....you would do it after you ate, while you played, ALL THE TIME! But since, you have forgotten it and moved on.
One of your favorite things that you do is what we call your "goofy grin". You give this super cheesy smile that just comes and goes at the weirdest times. It is so silly. See picture below (you can even see your two teethies!)

You sure do enjoy your solids. But you get rather impatient and fuss when put into your seat. You eat lots of yummy food these days: millet cereal, sweet potato, avocado, butternut squash, peas, carrots, pears and we are working on expanding your diet all the more! You don't love peas and carrots all that much but everything else is delicious to you!
We took many trips this month! For mother's day we went to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. What a wonderful trip. You love the giraffes! You have no fear of any thing...even animals thousands of times bigger than you! We also went to the Denver Museum to learn about pirates, and also the Denver Zoo. So much fun!
So now we get to the RADICAL part of this month. Isabella, you started crawling! CRAWLING! You went from army crawling to actual crawling in less than a week...its amazing! You can really cruise now! We have to put little baby leggings on you because you get little chapped knees (not that that would deter you).

Another RADICAL thing you started doing immediately after crawling is pulling yourself up on things. You love to stand and are not content with sitting sit or even sitting for that matter. You pull yourself up on everything like laundry baskets, the ottoman, and your crib....oh the crib. For awhile you didn't know how to get down from the standing position....soooo in the middle of your nap you would pull yourself up and start screaming for help! It was very frustrating for us both....but that is behind us now - thank you Jesus!

Isabella, you are amazing. Not only that but you have amazing ambition. Your ambition and desire to learn are an inspiration to us. You teach us so much even though you are so little. It is a true joy to us. Thank you for making me a mother. Being a your mother has taught me so many new things about life and myself and love. You are unique and precious. You are beautiful and magnificent. We love you very much and cannot even describe how much we burst with pride when we see you growing and changing and excelling. You are our precious one.

All our love,

Momma and Daddy

a long night...

2011-06-09T18:42:00.001-06:00

We had a long night last night....a long, tough, heartbreaking night. I would say that it was the toughest night as momma thus far (and I am sure Derrik would agree).

We spent 3.5 hours at the E.R. last night. From midnight until 3:30.

It was one of the most awful experiences of my entire life and unfortunately it lowered my faith in doctors and hospitals even more.

It all started on Tuesday. Isabella and I traveled over to Bill and Nancy's (our superiors and good mentors/friends) to help them pack up their moving truck. Isabella was just not herself....extremely fussy and clingy. She was also very warm and feverish. When we arrived home in the afternoon, her temperature was at 101.8. She was not feeling well at all. She was lethargic and wasn't interested in anything except laying with momma. So we called the Dr. She suggested that Isabella was just beginning to fight something off and that we should bring her in on Thursday if she still had a fever. Things just went downhill from there...

Sick little cuddle bug

On Tuesday night at 5:30, she woke up with severe chills. Her breathing was labored a bit and her skin was darkened. I was really worried and called my momma who gives great advice. I gave her some Tylenol and helped her calm down. The rest of the night was difficult as well. She wouldn't fall asleep until 8:40 after fighting it for an hour. I just tried to comfort her and rock her. She woke up at 11:30 with the chills again. My heart was broken. She shivered and shivered but was burning up at the same time. Her temp was at 103.5ish. Finally, she went back to sleep at 1:20.

The next morning, Isabella seemed to be feeling much better despite that stinkin' persistent fever. I thought about calling the Dr around 12....unfortunately I forgot that the office closes for the afternoon on Wednesdays. Things really went downhill that night. She went to bed just fine after a bath that lowered her temp down to 101 again. But she awoke just an hour later upset. She was crying, cold, feverish at the same time....it was awful. She finally went back to sleep about an hour later. But once more woke up at 10:30ish. She had the chills again and her fever was spiking....

At 11:30 her underarm temperature was 104.5.....time to make some calls. I called my momma first. She said that I should call her Dr. but that I could put her in a lukewarm bath to try to cool her down. I called her Dr. immediately and thank the Lord that she answered. She is so thorough and I am grateful. After going through some questions, she told me to take her to the emergency room. Blah! It was almost 12 at this point...so we loaded her up and headed to Penrose St. Francis.

Penrose St. Francis

Our experience was awful....AWFUL! It didn't take to long to get her in. After the initial check-up with the nurse (who graciously told me that my shirt was inside out...obviously I was frazzled), we were in our room in 10-15 minutes....then we waited and waited for the Dr.......

Oh let me tell you about our doctor. He was rude, unprofessional, blunt, and had absolutely no bedside manner. After looking her over, he proceeded to say loudly, in front of my baby..."Where the HELL is that fever coming from?". Now I know she doesn't understand but it was seriously unprofessional. Then he told us he was going to have the nurses get a urine sample and that "there would be lots of screaming and she would be mad and in pain"....no tact. He freaked us out more than anything. Then he said that if nothing showed up in her urine, he would order a chest x-ray....ya right - like I would let you order a chest x-ray with no conclusive evidence. She was breathing okay and seemed completely fine. Despite the fever, you would never know she was ill. In true Isabella fashion, she was completely bright eyed by the time we got to the ER. She was trying to get into everything and reach for stethoscopes and tubes. She didn't even seem sick or tired.

So then we got a urine sample...and I almost lost it. Two nurses came in; one held her legs while one tried to cath her.....Isabella was screaming and lo and behold, the nurse wasn't in the urethra but in the vagina....thats almost when we lost it. At least she had enough sense to ask the other nurse to give it a try. They asked us if we wanted to step out - ya right and leave our devastated baby in there alone with them! The other nurse couldn't get it either....until she got a bigger tube for my tiny 8 month old.....3 tries....Derrik almost passed out at one point because it was so intense.

Then we waited again....for an hour.....

Then the rude doctor came back with the diagnosis of a bladder/kidney infection. It was 2:30 at this point. He said that he would give her a shot of antibiotic where there would be "much more screaming" (again no tact) and that she would need a prescription for antibiotics and be on them twice a day for the next 10 days (blah!). So we waited again for the nurse to come back for the shot. The nurse who "missed it" with the catheter the first time didn't come back again....and I am grateful. The other nurse didn't come back until 2:55 with the shot...and it was a big needle and Isabella was so upset after that.....she had had it! The nurse said she wanted to observe her for 15-20 minutes which really meant we would wait alone and not see the nurse at all. So we waited and waited and at 25 minutes, I hit the call button....but she still didn't come back until 3:35....when we were finally discharged.

Isabella was exhausted and cried a good part of the way home. She finally went down at 4:30 but had a rough time. She would whimper and cry every now and then. I would go in and check on her and she would be laying on her tummy reaching for her diaper and whimper in pain. I think she was sore from all those catheters....

She isn't much better today. Still a temperature of 103.5 and still lethargic and clingy. She goes to her doctor tomorrow at 9:00. We are exhausted: physically and emotionally.

Poor sick one

This is the not-so-fun part of motherhood. It was so hard, so heartbreaking, so tiring, and so so emotional. I had a feeling it was UTI or bladder infection....next time I will listen to that momma's intuition of mine better. I wish I could take this for her and I would in a heartbeat. But I can't. All I can do is be her momma and hold her and comfort her. No one else can do that....no one else can be her momma. And I wouldn't trade it, despite the heartbreak and the helplessness.

Still cracks a smile for the camera

day 1 of being pregnant (a nostalgic post)...

2011-05-31T15:17:00.000-06:00

note the "nostalgic" in the title....meaning this is not day 1 of a new pregnancy....fyi

So today marks the day that our books finally went on a bookshelf....our books have been in 2 boxes for 2 years and we finally have a bookshelf to put them all in! While going through our books, I found my journals. I love to journal, though I haven't done much of it since becoming a momma. I need to get back into it. I journal my prayers and my quiet times with the Lord. I love going back and seeing what the Lord has done.

I came across this journal.

This is the journal I had when I first became pregnant. Naturally, I turned to February 8th, 2010...the day after I found out I was pregnant.

Tears still welled up in my eyes as I read the entry. I remember exactly where I sat in a room that is now Isabella's nursery. Then my mom called and asked if I was pregnant and I lied because I wanted to tell her in person. Oh memories!

Let me share this beautiful entry with you.

Dear Heavenly Father,

My heart is so full...I am on the edge of tears yet again. Lord my mind is reeling a million miles a minute.

Father....I took another pregnancy test this morning...and it was positive! Can you believe it! I know you have known it all along. You knew from the very very beginning. I praise you for that. I praise you for being sovereign. I love that it is a surprise to me but not to you. You knew! You have surprised me. Wow. My heart is so overwhelmed right now with joy and expectation. I can hardly hold it in. I want to scream, dance, sing, run around!

Lord, thank you for this miracle. I can't believe that after only 1 month of trying Derrik and I have conceived. It is truly remarkable. Lord I trust you for your timing. And this is it! You are the one who makes these things possible. Lord thank you, thank you, thank you for hearing my cry and answering. Thank you for making my hearts desire come true. I am so grateful for your timing.

Lord I life up my pregnancy to you. I lift up the next 38 weeks or so to you. Lord I pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy. I pray you would protect me and my womb and the little little one inside me. I pray against defects, deformities, or a miscarriage. Lord would you bless my womb and shield it. May no harm come. I pray he/she would be incredibly healthy. Lord I pray you would begin to prepare Derrik and my heart to be parents. Lord, direct us, guide us, and grow us in these next several months as we head toward parenthood. Lord I pray over our financial situation. Would you provide the funding for this year and for next? I confess it is one of my biggest fears going into this pregnancy. Forgive me for my doubts and unbelief. Forgive me for not trusting you and giving over to fear.

Father, I love that I get to share these moments with you. I love that you are the first one other than Derrik that I can share and be excited with and I love it because you are the one I get to pray to. You know everything about this pregnancy. God you are so good. I am at so much peace right now resting in you.

Lord prepare my heart for my time with you. I pray you would make it malleable to conform to your will. I am so excited to spend this extended time with you. Its just us....I love it. You are so good to me. I love you and I trust you and all that you have for me.

In Jesus name - Amen,

Jamie

and here she is over a year later...only the Lord knew it was this little precious girl I was growing

busy izzy....

2011-05-31T00:26:00.000-06:00

Memorial Day...a time to remember, a time to be thankful, a time to mourn for some, and a time to celebrate freedom for all. The photos displayed at The Pioneer Woman are heartwarming, beautiful, and sad. Thank you for serving. Thank you for protecting our freedom.

At G'ma and G'pa's house

What a busy weekend it has been! A trip to the zoo, a game night with very special mentors/friends, BBQ with Gramma, Grampy, Great Grandma and Great Grandpa, and another BBQ for Memorial Day with Papa, Mimi, Uncle Gerbil (my affectionate name for my little brother - yes he hates it...or so he says), and Aunt Chris. How I cherish these times with family...absolutely adore them. And so does Isabella. She loves all of her family and brings joy to all that spend time with her.

with the giraffes - her favorite!

tuckered out and asleep in daddy's arms

If you spend any amount of time with her you will know that she is BUSY....not like kinda busy...I'm talking super super crazy exhausting busy. She crawls, stands, pulls herself up, scans for something to grab/touch/taste/feel/throw/bite/drool on. She talks/coughs/squawks. She doesn't sit still for anything and nothing holds her attention for very long. Izzy is ambitious. Once she learns to crawl, she yearns to walk. She is desperate to stand and pull herself up. I love it. I love her exactly the way she is. I love that she is driven and will not allow anything to hold her back. Isabella inspires me. At 8 months old, I desire to be like her.....always pushing herself and never giving up. She is truly amazing...truly.

crawlin' like crazy

playing on the table - thats her papa (my daddy) in the background

my dainty diva...

2011-05-23T23:30:00.000-06:00

Oh boy! Has it been a long time! I sent my laptop in (again) and I don't really enjoy being stuck in the office to blog so....

BTW - computer is STILL not fixed so I might be sending it back again soon...so possibly another blogging hiatus.

So, where did we leave off? Oh yes, Isabella's 7th month and my rant about birth...don't get me started again.

This month has been an interesting one, as far as mommahood goes. As mentioned in her 7th month update, Isabella and I were sick for 2.5 weeks! Her formula/milk intake decreased dramatically and she started to lose weight. At the end of this sickness, little Iz got her first tooth! So precious, but seriously bad timing. Teething on top of sickness makes for one crazy household.

So I was in quite the pickle. How to get Isabella to eat and gain weight....story of my life (as it is with most mommas!). I was at my wits end. So I turned to my mommy friends for advice via email. Here is my original email so that you can get an idea of the complete situation.

Hello Ladies!

I need some advice. Isabella is now7 and a half months. The last 3 weeks have been rough. Isabella had an ear infection and a horrible cold (that I got too). The cold hung on for 2.5 weeks and she had a lot on congestion and a sore throat. To top it all off, she was teething as well and the tooth finally broke through yesterday. All of this has severely thrown off her schedule. She was doing great with 5 feedings a day. She still wasn't completely sleeping through the night (still dreamfeeding at 11 pm) but she was only taking 2 oz so I knew it was time to drop the feeding especially with starting solids.

NOW everything has changed. She went from drinking 5-6 oz a feeding to 4 oz when we started solids. When she was sick/teething the amount went down to 1-2 oz a feeding. She was still pretty good with solids and she would drink 5 oz at bedtime (7:00) and 5-6 oz during the dreamfeed. For the past 2 weeks (almost 3), she has been eating 5-6 oz at 7 and then waking up at 8:30 - 9 and eating 4 more oz. Then eating 5-6 more oz at 11:00 or 12. Some nights she wakes up hungry at 4 am and eats 5 oz then too.

I feel at my wits end. This cluster feeding at night and waking in the middle of the night is driving me crazy! I didn't mind when she was sick but now that this is all over, I want so badly to get back into our schedule.

So if you were me, what would you do in this situation? Ever had a problem like this (I assume not with little boys who love to eat!)? She refuses to drink more than 2 oz, knocking the bottle away and fussing. Part of me thinks that she eats well at night because she is resting. It almost seems like she would rather play than eat during the day and will not waste time with drinking formula. She is so busy.

Today, I am trying to just feed her formula/milk and no solids except dinner. I am trying to get her to drink 5-6 oz a feeding even if the feeding is stretched out between 1.5 hours with play breaks in between. Don't know if this is a good idea or if it will help, but I feel like it is worth trying.

Any ideas my dear mommy friends?

Tired, frustrated, concerned,

Jamie

I received great advice from both the momma's I sent this too. Thanks Stacy and Renae!

The morning after I sent this email (actually before I had received an email back), I made Isabella's bottle a little warmer than normal. I had been making it room temperature for about a month so this was definitely different. To my shock and surprise, that morning Isabella sucked 6 oz down in 10 minutes flat! When lunch time rolled around, I gave her another lukewarm bottle and she refused it after about an ounce. So I whipped out the Bottle Warmer (a wonderful, imperative item we had not used up until this point) and warmed it up.

You can guess what happened....she drank it right up.

Now I am sure part of the reason she is eating again is that her little gums aren't hurting any more, her throat feels better, and she can breath again, but mostly it is due to the warm bottle. I know this because the moment it cools down more than her liking, she stops drinking. Another thing that has helped is the fast flow nipple on the bottle. It allows her to eat quickly so she can get back to being busy.

My daughter is a diva...a total complete princess. She needs her milk warmed. So now, I use the Bottle Warmer for every feeding. Who knew that thing would be so useful? Since we started doing that, she drinks 5-6 oz each feeding during the day and 8 oz at bedtime and her late night feeding. Amazing...simply amazing.

What an adventure! After many tears, anxiety, frustration, exhaustion, the solution is something so simple that I learned by fluke! So much of parenting is trial and error. We come up with all sorts of different tricks and fixes. We don't give up. We remain consistent but flexible and open to new ideas.

Parenting is hard work....extremely difficult, never ending. But the pay off is indescribable. My joyful, healthy baby is worth all the tears, worry, frustration, exhaustion, etc.

I wouldn't trade my dainty diva for anything!

Isabella Ann: 7 Months!

2011-05-14T00:27:00.000-06:00

Dear Miss Busy Izzy,

This endearing nickname we have for you has never been more true than this month. You are growing more and more independent every day...well sorta. You would like to be independent but you get frustrated that you cannot go from sitting to standing on your own. One of these days, very soon, you are just going to take off on your own!

Where to start? What a busy month we have had. We celebrated many birthdays (including the birth day of your new friend Hayley Grace and Emaline Grace!). Also, your Papa, Daddy, Grama, Grandpa, Uncle Gerbil, Wyatt, Dominic, Kami, and Uncle Caleb! Not only did we celebrate birthdays, but we celebrated Easter, attended a Nav's Women's day, A Parents' Reception, etc! You have been a champ through it all. You enjoy meeting new friends and going new places, but you can only take so many missed naps.

So where to begin with your crazy milestones? You amaze us every day with all that you are determined to do. You are not one to sit still for long, my dear. Its just not in your nature.

We went to the doctor a lot at the end of this month (stupid cold - more on that later) and you weighed in at 14 lbs 4 oz...still have not doubled your birth weight but you are getting there; so close! You actually lost 5 oz at the end of the month due to loss of appetite and sickness (more on that later too) You are tiny and I love it! Not sure how long you are but you are lengthening out!

Speaking of appetite, there has been no real change in the milk supply drama. If anything, it is decreasing. You probably get between 5-6 oz of breast milk a day. Your fluid intake has changed dramatically throughout the month. Once solids were fully introduced, you decreased from 5-6 oz a feeding to 4-5 oz a feeding.
Oh solids! What an adventure this has been! You love food. You eat very well (well only about 2-3 tablespoons a meal but you're little). Your diet isn't that complex yet: brown rice cereal, millet cereal, pears, mango, sweet potatoes, and avocado - all organic and homemade. We switched from the brown rice to the millet because you were getting stopped up.
During your meals, we are working on baby sign language. You still don't quite understand yet but we are working on it. We practice "please", "more", and "finish" so far.
Constipation has been a major issue for you this month....it was a problem before but now it is even bigger. I'm sure that it is due to the introduction of food and decrease in liquid intake. We have to use glycerin suppositories to ease the passage....it is so sad and horrible, but I'm not sure what to do - other than changing your cereal and staying away from the constipating food like bananas and applesauce.

Speaking of diapers, we are still in clothe! We took a week long break to try to clear up this diaper rash and it worked! However, your skin is sooo sensitive that the moment we put you back in a cloth diaper for any type of extended time you break out slightly again.
Sensitive skin, you got it. Your chest breaks out from drool, you get rosy cheeks often. The doctor says that you have a very light case of eczema. It doesn't seem to bother you at all.
You still screech, you still laugh, you still smile all the time. Daddy is especially good at making you laugh....mostly by doing exhilarating things. You are an adrenaline junky! It cracks us up and we love it!
You are really into standing on your own. We help you use the ottoman for support or your jungle gym. You love to balance and look at the world from a different perspective. However, you have no idea what happens when you let go...falling doesn't phase you...so we have to keep a very close eye on you so you don't get hurt.

You still love your toys! They haven't grown old yet (although I think that they are close to not being cool anymore). You cycle through your toys like crazy. You pick one up, you taste it, then you drop/throw it, and move on to the next one. Its so funny...Momma has to bring a bag full of toys where ever we go so they last!
We were sick together...again... this month. This time it lasted 2.5 weeks... 2 AND A HALF weeks! You got a horrible cold and an ear infection. It was awful, completely horrible for both of us. During this time, your appetite for milk completely dropped off....probably because your throat hurt. You went from drinking 4-5 oz a meal to 1-2 oz. Momma is very sad and very frustrated. I am worried because you are not wetting your diapers like you used to. You also have lost weight. Please get back to eating like you used to! (I think part of it is that you get so bored that you can't stand to just sit and drink your milk)
You are still sleeping well. Good naps. Good nights, although I am still feeding you before I go to bed...especially because you will actually drink 5-6 oz when you are "dream feeding". Someday you will sleep all the way through!! Someday soon, I hope!
Bath time is still your favorite time of the day. You love to splash - like crazy! You also love to sick up and chew on your rubber ducky, washcloth, Finny (the fish shaped sponge), and the cup Momma uses to rinse you.
As far as major milestones - you have mastered sitting up!!! It is amazing how quickly you learned. It is so much fun to see you sit there and play with your toys. You look so big...which is bittersweet for Momma and Daddy. Next month, we foresee crawling (you are already starting to get in position!)

Isabella, I love to watch you grow. I love to see you grow more independent. I love to see you discover new things. BUT, I also love when you will snuggle, which isn't very often now that you can't stop moving. I miss when you completely needed me. I miss when you weren't starting to be defiant headstrong. BUT, I love seeing your personality bloom.

These days are bittersweet for us. We swell with pride watching you grow. But a part of us wants you to stay tiny. You will always be our baby and we love you so so much!

Love Always,

Momma and Daddy!

looking back...

2011-05-11T00:28:00.000-06:00

I have had some time to reflect on my birth experience. 7 months to be exact. Around 6 months, I started to really think about everything that happened and my feelings about it all. Maybe this is because so many of my friends were having babies around this time or maybe because I didn't really have time or a true desire to think about it until Isabella was 6 months. But since then, I have truly been thinking about it. Pondering. Educating myself. And planning my next birth (yes, next birth....not going to happen for a bit but maybe in a year in a half or so). I still have a lot to learn and a lot to think about it and some time to make some real decisions, but I will not be going into my next birth as uninformed as I went into this one.

In my birthing class, we discussed which aspects of our birth plan were most important to us. Mine were to avoid a cesarean at all cost, to have my Dr. present, and to wait until a certain point (5 cm) before I had an epidural or pain meds of any kind. If there is one thing I learned, birth doesn't really go the way you expect... but based on these things, the only thing I didn't have was my Dr. present (don't go into labor on the weekends I guess). However, now looking back, the way I pictured my birth would go was completely different from how it went.

Let me outline for you the things that happened that WILL NOT happen to me again (as long as I have a say).

#1 Cytotec: this is the drug that they used to soften my cervix since it was labeled "unfavorable" when I was admitted. This drug is HIGHLY controversial. It isn't even FDA approved for the purpose of helping soften the cervix. It is an ulcer medication. An ulcer medication that specifically indicates that it should not be used by a pregnant woman. In fact, "Cytotec® can cause abnormally strong uterine contractions (hyperstimulation or tetany) so strong that the uterus ruptures, resulting in severe injury or death of the mother and child." (taken from here.) Unbelieveable! From some things I have read and heard, Cytotec is cheap to use...thats why the hospitals like it. But once used there is no way to stop its action and these horrible effects happen to the most unsuspecting women who have no identifiable risk factors.

This makes me UNBELIEVABLY angry. Supremely upset with rage. I am upset at myself for not being informed about this but I am even more upset that they didn't explain this to me in the hospital. They never informed me about the risks or any of it. You expect when you are in the care of professionals that they would at least use a FDA approved medication. I cannot believe that this is being used all the time in America....why is this still going on.

I understand (to a degree) that they were worried about Isabella being born within 24 hours of my water breaking because of infection....what I don't understand is why they didn't give my body a chance to dilate itself before just rushing to Cytotec. I wish I would have been more pushy and if in the same position next time, I will not allow that to be administered at all and if they want to use something else to help me along...it will be after I decide I need the help by laboring on my own for awhile without help.

I trust this body God gave me. I believe that with a little bit of walking around, squatting, showering, etc. my body would have dilated on its own....which brings me to my next point.

#2 Laboring in Bed....never again will I spend all night laboring in bed. NEVER. This was horrible. Laying in bed, helpless, not able to move or adjust (stupid monitors) while in serious pain (not wanting an epidural yet!) was awful. Now I understand, with the crazy dangers of Cytotec, why I had to be monitored. So this one faux pas led to this one. I loved the moments that I had to pee...it meant I could get up and stand and deal with the contractions physically instead of being swallowed by the pain.

I never expected to spend most of my labor in bed. I had a feeling I would end of with an epidural which I knew would land me in bed...but I knew that would be after laboring for awhile when I couldn't possibly handle the pain any more. Who knows how long I could have gone if I had been able to move around. I have a feeling, I would have been able to cope longer!

#3 Prolonged pushing time. As stated in my birth story, I had to stop pushing for 45 minutes and push every other contraction for 25 minutes. This in my opinion is absolutely ridiculous and totally unacceptable. It just shows how much I was on the Dr.'s time table and not on my own. I get furious thinking about it. The fact that the hospital only has 2 Dr.s on call when 2 are needed for a C-section is complete junk! They should at least have 3 (even if only on busy days).

It is an absolute miracle that Isabella remained strong and that her heart rate never dropped. She was literally stuck in my birth canal for 2.5 hours. Her head wasn't even that misshapen. Looking back now, I see how truly close we might have been to an emergency C-section. She could have gone into distress so quickly. Praise the Lord that she did not.

#4 Episiotomy. I had educated myself before hand about this and I was still on the fence about it. I asked at my admission appointment whether they still did that. The nurse told me that it was dependent on the Dr. Well in the moment and without my Dr. I didn't feel like I had much of a choice. Now I wish I would not have had one and that I could have tore naturally. Everything I have read has said that tearing is better. I wonder if the Dr didn't just do the episiotomy because it was quicker and he was in a rush and wouldn't let me push more slowly (this is just speculation but after the prolonged pushing, it isn't out of the question). Regardless, it will be in my birth plan next time to NOT have an episiotomy. Also, no matter what, next time I will ask for a local anesthetic before the stitches....so stinkin' painful.

#5 Induction using Cytotec and Pitocin. In the end, I realize that my birth was pretty much an induction. I wasn't dilated and they intervened to induce me into labor. I know the concern with water breaking but I really wish they would have given me some time to see if my body would have progressed naturally, on its own. I never got that chance. So many interventions are dangerous. Pitocin is a bummer and I hope to never need it again and will fight not to get it. Its just not natural. If, with my next one, I make it to term or go late, I will not allow myself to be induced unless I am 2 weeks late. It is just too scary and too many inductions end in C-sections.

Epidural Needle

#6 Epidural. This is one I never thought I would change and regret, but after some thinking, reflecting, educating, etc. I don't think I will have an epidural with the next one. Yep, I think I might go all natural. I NEVER EVER thought I would say that. But I want that experience. I don't want to be stuck in bed. I want to trust this body the Lord gave me which was created to birth to do what it was made to do. I don't regret having one this time. I know there was no way to continue laboring the way I did (in bed, unable to move, with pitocin on the way) without an epidural.

Wow...natural child birth. I haven't figured out all the details of this yet. Don't know what I will do: have a doula, use a different method (like Bradley), etc...who knows...I have time to determine that part. I have a lot more research to do. I have already done a bit. It all started with watching a documentary called "The Business of Being Born". I highly recommend it (as long as you don't mind seeing women give birth!). I know that all documentaries are bias so I try not to be a fanatic and look at both sides. Ultimately I would love to have a home water-birth with a midwife....BUT I have heard a few stories of complications that resulted in death of the baby from an at home birth. Even if there was almost no chance of that happening to me, I don't think I could risk it, so I will be in a hospital - just in case!

I am welcome to feed back...so if you are reading this and had a natural child birth or are planning on one, please email me some info and your thoughts. Email me at jamie.a.dewitt@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

wordless wednesdays...

2011-05-09T15:27:00.000-06:00

Just a few pictures from Mother's Day at Cheyenne Mountain Zoo

Isabella has NO fear of these giant creatures. She just couldn't help but reach out and touch them. I highly recommend visiting this zoo...look for coupons because it is a tad pricey.

Isabella's Birth Day ~ Part 2

2011-05-08T23:56:00.001-06:00

(Continued from Part 1)

Oh course, I had to go into labor on the weekend and it just so happened to be the weekend Dr. Baiza (my OB) was NOT on call. I really like my Dr. too. Bummer.

We made our rounds around the maternity ward...just walking (in my Chacos none the less). Due to the fact that I wasn't progressing, they decided to give me something to soften my cervix. So at about 9 or 10 pm they gave me Cytotec. *There are several things that occurred during my labor (this being one of them) that I wish I could have made better, more informed decisions about. Look for a post about that very, very soon.* While on the Cytotec, I had to be continuously monitored. So they strapped me to the monitors and I was stuck in bed. They prepared an IV just in case, and after my nurse blew the vain TWICE, she asked another lady to come in and help. Due to this I had a nice sized bruise on my left hand. Derrik hadn't had dinner yet, so I sent him to Sonic. He brought me back a fruit slush, which I drank even though it was slightly against the rules (but I could have popsicles so I figured it was the same thing. At this point, I was actually starting to contract. I knew I was in for a long night. So we popped in "The Office" (a minor distraction) and we waited. My parents stopped by around 11 before heading to our house to stay the night.

Let me just say, being stuck in bed while in labor is miserable. Each time I was allowed up to use the restroom, I felt so much better. Being able to walk/move and run my hands under water during contractions made a huge difference. I wish I would have been more pushy about having more time not attached to the monitors. All night, I labored. Each contraction was more and more intense. They were about 5 minutes apart. The nurse kept asking me if I would like something to take the edge off. After a few hours, I consented and had a dose of Nubain. It really did help...took just enough of the edge off to allow me to cope. During these contractions, the only thing that helped was for Derrik to squeeze my bruised hand with all his strength. I think this detracted from the pain of the contractions.

The night passed by...slowly. I slept for 5 minute spurts at a time in between contractions. Derrik moved over to the hospital bed permanently to squeeze my hand. At some point, I asked for another dose of the Nubain. I was upset with myself for accepting pain meds so early but it did feel better. The morning finally came around. The anesthesiologist came in around 7 am. He informed me that either I received my epidural right then, or I would have to wait until 9 or 9:30 because he would be in an operation. I told him (without thinking) that I would rather wait. I was determined to get to at least 5 cm before getting an epidural, not wanting it to slow down my labor. I called for the nurse immediately to see where I was at. She came and checked me and I was at 5 (or maybe 6...can't remember). So I asked her to get the anesthesiologist back in the room. He was able to come and I received the epidural. Almost immediately, I felt pain free. I could tell I was having contractions, but I couldn't feel the pain. All of the sudden, I could talk and even laugh. But now I was permanently bed ridden.

The epidurals now-a-days have a button. Each time, you push the button, more medication is delivered, making you more numb. I was determined NOT to push the button, knowing I wanted to feel enough to be able to push effectively. At around 9 am, my mom and dad arrived. While they were attending to me, Derrik napped - he was so tired from squeezing my hand all night long. My momma was excited and anxious beyond belief. She couldn't sit still. So, as a result, our hospital room underwent some cleaning...it was spotless. After the room was clean, she started on me. She painted my toe nails, my finger nails, did my hair and my make-up. I felt like a new woman and I was excited to look good in labor.

My mom and I still laugh about a certain moment during my makeover. She was finishing up with a little bit of lipstick. In her anxiety, she just kept going 'round and 'round my lips...I don't even know how many times...it was ridiculous...not only that but the smell of the lipstick was making me sick. All of the sudden, I yelled "stop!!" and we both burst into laughter. I wiped it all off and we waited. Derrik's family arrived and we all chatted away. At some point, probably around 9 as well, they started me on pitocin to speed things along even quicker. I couldn't feel the intensity of the contractions increase but they did.

The Broncos were playing a game while I was in labor. My dad and Derrik joked about putting the game on in my room while I was in labor....haha....not funny...not going to happen. But they did actually win.

Things kept moving along, until 12. My nurse came in. She checked me and I was at 9 cm. She told me she was going to eat a quick lunch while I progressed to 10 and that she would be back in 30 min at which time I would most likely begin pushing. That moment was surreal. I couldn't believe I was nearing the end of my labor...how crazy!! Everyone was anxious and excited. My parents prayed over me and we prepared for the end.

At 12:30 pm, Kari (my awesome nurse) came back in. She prepared me to push and I was really starting to feel the pressure of the contractions. She asked me before we began whether I would like to have the mirror. I was super hesitant but she told me she thought it would help me to see the progress I was making. Kari knew birth and all that it entails doesn't freak me out. We had already chatted about how I seriously considered being a Labor and Delivery nurse for many years. (I even asked her to let me see my placenta before they wheeled it out....weird I know but I wanted to see this amazing organ that I had grown!) So after a tiny bit of convincing, she retrieved a mirror. I am SOO glad I had it. It really did help to see the progress I was making. So around 12:30, I began the long push. Kari told me that many women push for 2 hours with their first. Blah!

I pushed for an hour with decent progress. It wasn't quick but we were definitely going somewhere. At this point, a nurse walked in to see how I was doing. Apparently many woman were in the ending stages of labor as I was. And there were only 2 doctors on call. At that particular time, they were needed for a C-section. I guess they need 2 OBs present. Because of my progress, the nurse told me to stop pushing...just until Dr. O'Connell was out of surgery....This was a bittersweet moment. I just wanted to keep pushing...I was finally getting the hang of it. But I also was so tired so I figured I could rest while waiting. I even dozed off a bit.

I waited for 45 minutes....45 MINUTES until I could start pushing again. At some point, I got nauseous and threw up all over myself....lovely (luckily the only thing in my stomach was water and strawberry popsicle). Finally, the nurse came back in and I began to push again. Praise the Lord that our baby was such a strong one. Her heart rate never dropped and she did so well considering she had been sitting in my birth canal for 45 minutes. After pushing for 5 minutes, the nurse came back in and told me to stop again...apparently there was another lady in labor with no epidural at the same stage as I was. She would need to deliver first and I would just have to wait....SERIOUSLY?!?! What the heck? The nurse told me to push every other contraction.

Finally, after pushing for every other contraction for 25 minutes. The Dr. finally appeared. FINALLY. I was exhausted and ready to be done pushing. Because I had never pushed the epidural button, I was seriously feeling the pressure of this little one. It was crazy intense. It was painful. And I was sooo soo tired. It was 2:45 at this point and I kept pushing. Derrik was holding one leg and the nurse was holding another. I pushed and pushed. I was starting to lose my focus and not breathing well. The Dr. helped me to calm down. Just when I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, the Dr. told me to look down. Isabella was almost out. He warned me that he would have to do an episiotomy to make more room. It was quick and I didn't feel it because after that occurred, I pushed one for time and our baby emerged.

I burst into tears instantly (it makes me cry now). It is unlike anything I have ever felt. The baby cried. The Dr. let Derrik call out what the sex. The Dr. said "It's a....". Derrik was speechless and in shock at that point. It seemed like a giant gap, even though it was only a few seconds, before he said "girl". They put her on my chest immediately and I sobbed and sobbed. They stitched me up (absolutely awful and soooo painful...wish I would have hit the epidural button at that point!!) and showed me the placenta. I got 1 precious hour with that sweet baby of mine before they took her and Derrik to the nursery. I tried to nurse (she wasn't that interested) and we cuddled. I stared and stared and cried.

Our parents (as well as my aunt, brother, Derrik's brother and sister, and Derrik's grandparents) were in the waiting room as I screamed and pushed. As soon as she was born, both my mom and Krista (Derrik's momma) knew it was a girl by the pitch of her cry. They came in as soon as I was decent....ready to meet Isabella Ann.

Isabella Ann. Isabella means consecrated to God, God's promise, God is my oath, pledged to God. This is exactly how we felt with our first born. Not to mention, I have LOVED that name for years! Ann is a family name: my middle name, Krista's middle name, and my mother's name. Isabella Ann....perfect.

Sunday, October 3rd, 2010 at 2:58 pm Isabella Ann was born. After 22 hours of labor and 2.5 hours of pushing (sorta). She was born weighing 7 lbs. 6.5 oz and 18 inches long. She is our precious little girl...amazing, perfect, beautiful, and absolutely the most wonderful blessing in our lives. We love her more than she'll ever know.

Thank you Jesus for this little life. Thank you that she was born strong and healthy, even after a bit of a stressful labor. Thank you for blessing us and giving us the responsibility of raising your child. We know that she is ultimately yours. Thank you for giving her to us. We love you and pray that she would come to know you very soon. Thank you.

Isabella's Birth Day ~ Part 1

2011-05-08T00:13:00.000-06:00

October 3rd, 2010. The most beautiful day. EVER.

It all started Christmas of 2009. After some pray and serious conversation, Derrik and I decided it was time...time to start a family. So after reading a certain book, "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" (a beautiful book about natural birth control and pregnancy achievement), we started trying to conceive. I began charting my cycle. February rolled around and after 18 days of an increased oral temp (FAM -fertility awareness method- jargon for + preggo test), I was pretty sure we were going to have a little baby. There were a few other signs as well...one being an extreme wave of nausea in the car. BUT we decided to take a test just to be sure....

The day I took the test was Super Bowl Sunday (aka Super Baby Sunday). We had decided to wait until that night, after our Navigator Super Bowl Party. I was anxious all day. I had experienced another wave of nausea while preparing the guacamole for the party...very suspect. Finally the time came. I was giddy and hopeful, but also expecting disappointment. So I peed. We waited. and....it was positive...and we were ecstatic! (still a little cautious, I took another test in the morning...also +). After only 1 month of trying, we were pregnant. I hadn't expected it to happen so quickly and I am so grateful. It truly shows that the Lord's timing is perfect.

So then I experienced my first pregnancy. It was easy. Beautiful. Special. Quick (looking back). Isabella, (or Baby D(eWitt) as we loving referred to our little bean since we waited until she was born to find out the sex) was quite the mover. I first felt her at 19 weeks and Derrik felt her 2 days after. I will never forget that moment. It was the most amazing feeling and I ache for it even now. She never stopped moving - and still hasn't - our little busy Izzy. I gained 23 lbs. I got cankles. I got eczema of the armpits (weird, I know!). I ate box after box of Honey Nut Cheerios. I experienced mood shifts (one of extreme anger - wrath that I have never experienced before or since). I fit into my regular jeans until 30ish weeks. I lost sleep. I peed, a lot. I craved sandwiches. It was a lovely thing.

I felt confident that Isabella would arrive on time (October 15th) or late. All my friends went late. I thought I would too.

On Saturday, October 2nd, I was highly emotional. I was nesting and bored. We had been to the Dr. Baiza on Thursday and he assured me after checking, that I would not be having the baby any time soon - at least not in the next week. I cried and cried to Derrik (and the Lord) about how I just wanted the baby to come. I wanted to hold him or her. I was ready (ya right!). He cared for me, distracted me by getting me some lunch and watching a movie with me. At 3:30 pm, I decided to treat myself to a bath and a book. I crawled in and literally soaked for over an hour. It was lovely. I think I almost fell asleep. I finally decided to get out. I called for Derrik because at 38 weeks pregnant, it was super difficult to get out of the tub unassisted. He helped me out and I toweled off. At this point, I realized that I was leaking...and I was convinced it was still bath water. Derrik told me over and over again that he thought it was my water breaking. I was in serious denial. But with every few steps, there was more fluid. In shock, I decided to call my momma. I told her what was going on and she told me to call the hospital (which Derrik had already told me to do). So I called and they told me to eat first and come in.

All the sudden, I got entirely emotional. My bag was only partially packed. My house wasn't super clean. I wasn't as ready as I thought. So I downed a banana and some cereal. Packed my bag. Put on some make-up (I was convinced to look great in all my labor photos!). And we left for the hospital. I cried the entire way there. I was sad. I was scared. I wasn't ready. I was in denial. I was happy. I was excited. Everything...I felt it all. But mostly, I didn't feel ready. I immediately thought back to my emotions that morning. In my silent prayer, I took everything back. I could wait. I wanted my two more weeks! or at least one!!

We arrived at the hospital around 6 pm, and after snapping a few pics (see above), we headed up to the birthing center. I still wasn't completely convinced that my water had broken. But after an examination, the nurse assured me that I was indeed in labor and I would be staying. Not only would I be staying, I would be having the baby within 24 hours due to the increased risk of infection with the water breaking. Not only was I staying and having a baby, I was only still only 1 cm dilated (like Thursday). So after settling into our room, we started to walk the ward, hoping to get things moving. We also called my parents, Derrik's parents, and a few friends to let them know what was happening!

Not so Wordless Wednesday...

2011-05-04T23:35:00.001-06:00

Well, it has been a week....a crazy week. A stressful, sick, busy, etc etc etc week. Last week, Isabella and I got sick. Isabella was diagnosed with an ear infection and on top of that she had some other lovely bug that she passed on to me (probably because I can't resist kissing those little lips!). Her fever broke on Thursday night which was so great! And I felt like she was starting to get better. She also wasn't constipated any more (hallelujah!) since we switched her cereal from rice cereal to millet cereal. However, she hasn't been drinking her milk/formula well....all month. She went from 5-6 oz each feeding to 3-4 oz since we started solids...and now she will barely drink 2 oz...sometimes only 1 oz.

Our weekend was a busy one including birthday parties. One for Dominic and Kami and one for Wyatt!

Wyatt Ryan! Congrats little buddy! You are such a sweet little boy! We love you!

We also visited Mimi's and Papa's church on Sunday. In all honesty, I think that we overdid it....too many missed naps when she was sick sent her back over the edge I think.

I always expect that when we go away for the weekend, Isabella will generally have to readjust all day Monday...but this Monday was different. She awoke at 5:30 am (very odd for her) and I fed her, since she will not eat very well. She was back in bed by 6:15 and I thought she would sleep till 8 or 9....nope, she was up at 6:50. With a poopy diaper. But it wasn't just a poopy diaper...something else was wrong. Isabella cried inconsolably for 1.5 hours and she NEVER does that. So I called the Dr and they asked us to bring her in.

Of course at the Dr, she acted fine and didn't even have a temperature. I explained all her symptoms and everything but the best guess was that her tummy was bothering her. Later that day, her temperature went back up again and she was not herself. Completely lethargic and fussy. When she wasn't napping, she was in our ErgoBaby Carrier (I LOVE THIS THING) hanging out while I cooked and cleaned. And my baby doesn't "hang out"...she demands to be busy most of the time!

Since then, Isabella still has a fever that stays at about 100. She still will not eat well...only 1 or 2 oz. So what am I to do now? I'm thinking I'm going to call the Doc again tomorrow. On top of it all, I have been feeling so sick too...I just can't kick this cold!

So I conclude...motherhood is hard....it is unpredictable....it is stressful....it is crazy....and I love it.